Would you work for him?

Would you work for him?

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Depends. Doing what?

What's your specialty?

Jokes that my wife finds dumb but she laughs at them anyway. Mostly complex puns.
I don't think that's useful against G. I. Joe though.

Your codename is now Kneeslapper:
Cobra Cut Up
Don't get caught staring at The Baroness' ass or Destro will have you in the dip.

I have experience in food service. Cobra's gotta eat too right?

Hotplate: Cobra Chef
Make with the SSSSSSSloppy Joessssss. COBRAAAAAAAA!

It's not my specialty but I really want to set people on fire. Are there Cobra troopers who get issued flamethrowers? Or maybe some kind of high tech energy weapon the sets things on fire through some kind of beam or energy ball it shoots?

What's his healthcare plan like?

Hot Foot: Cobra Arsonist.
You gotta buy your own matches though. Budget's tight this week.

No problem.

... I just gotta hold out until Serpentor takes control then he'll unfuck this organization and make Cobra great again ...

Hey when are those sloppy joes going to be ready?

Sir, pardon for speaking out place, sir but I brought extra kitchen supplies with me from my last job including enough matches, sir!

If it means free turkey dinners, im all in!

Heil Cobra!

Can I look at Destro's ass?

He just told you not too.

Exssssssselent! My plan is working perfectly!

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First you must prove your skills by challenging the enemy chef Roadblock to a cook-off.

I order and stock Cobra mini kitchens at my local Cobra Rec Center.

As a man, I’m the Trainer of female Cobra operatives.
I teach cobra females how to seduce men by having them practice on me.
Currently teaching them the “swallow” method.

Cobra's politics are actually pretty agreeable. They oppose forever wars and unchecked enviromental destruction

He told me not to look at the Barroness' ass

Pimp Daddy: Cobra Skank Trainer

Watch out. He rhymes!

Everyone gets free Cobra Pogs too.
Collect them all.

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I'm really really good at grooming girls on discod and the internet. can't do in real life, tho. If you want a guy for online marketing of a very specific target group I'm your guy, soon cobra would have such a rabid retarded fanbase that would make most k-pop fans seem normal.

Only if I could be the women's shower/locker room janitor

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I can make fun of Serpentor.

I would just use "This I command" just to fuck with him.

As long as you crack a joke, you can do whatever you want Triboulet

I think the Joe's already have a guy named Stalker

NOBODY MAKES FUN OF ME! EVERYONE THINKS I'M COOL! THIS I COMMAND!!!!

Oh dear, I'm very bad at jokes.

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What's yer offer?

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Cobra would be an improvement.
Cobra is American multi-level marketing crossed with Fantasy Baseball for hire, and it would still be better structured than what we have now. For business, for employment chances. You an be a faceless, hopeless retail drone, or you can be a faceless, hopeful retail drone working on the Mars Colony rocket.
Hell, building codes would be streamlined to allow actual improvements instead of "There's a crack in a brick? Tear down your home!" that we have now.
We were meant to root for the Joes because they were good. Cobra promises not just everything we want, but the things that we need, too.
Only a small chance of snakeism per longevity gene-therapy serum.

you might have to get out of your chair once in a while.

Name another organization that has an accountant/falconer. Name another organization that would let their accountant/falconer dress like this. I would be all in. Coooo-BRA!!

I miss the 80s. I wanna go back.

Damnit, Raptor...
Theres bird poop all over....
THE BOOKS AGAIN!

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Jacking off and taking a toll on it.

how did they get away with such blatant MIC propaganda back in the day?

toy stores dont exist anymore

fucking ARAH gi joe isnt even in the 3.75 inch scale anymore either

Its things like these that i would genuinely contemplate suicide about had i not had to live for my parents. I didnt even get to live in the 1980s but i can see how much shitter my life was. I havent been happy since 2010...

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CrackerJack: Cobra Pervert