ITT: we pretend we're in Gotham
holy shit bros the batman is real i was trying to steal fridges from a supply truck cause i hear there's good money in it but now im in the hospital with a broken femur
ITT: we pretend we're in Gotham
I really want to move but no one will buy an apartment in this city so I'm stuck here
Remember to pray to the Batman
Imagine buying property anywhere in this fucking city. It's like the New Jerseyest part of New Jersey and I mean that with all the shade I can throw. I can't wait to move back to New York.
Is the Iceberg Lounge a decent place to work? I've got an interview for a bartending job there.
i hear the tips are high as fuck but you have about a 70% chance of getting stabbed or arrested. also whats up with the owner why does he like umbrellas so much? and those noises he makes? the guy's such a quack
Wait. Guy? But it’s owned by a woman. This big, ugly bitch who ever pretends is super hot. Actually all the women in this town have a figure like a fridge. Or at least … they used to? Oh god, oh man! Oh god oh man! My doctor said my experimental new depression medication might cause multiversal slip.
When are we getting a new commissioner? The police here are ass
uh yeah you want to sign up to be a non-corrupt cop in Gotham? when is your funeral scheduled for?
I just took a big yellow piss near Wayne tower and the guards kicked my ass
bring back mayor kroll
I
NEED
VENOM
NOW!
Also which is the better high fear toxin or joker gas?
guys hear me out. joker is a good thing for the city. its better to have villains like him vs superman villains that wipe out entire cities
We get new ones sometimes but that fuck Gordon always comes back. How the hell does that work? Didn't he die or something once?
Didn't he die or something once?
nah scarecrow did a fear toxin on the entire city and a lot of us hallucinated that. in mine he died via rape
anyone else wonder what REALLY goes on at arkham ?
I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall of Poison Ivy's cell if you know what I mean
i dont know what you mean. what does fly on the wall mean? and why poison ivy? some of the other inmates might prove more interesting personality/insanity wise
batman isnt real. only gay people believe in him for some reason. must be something in the water over there in gaytham
This idiot got attacked by Manbat, and now he thinks Batman is real
lol
Reminder, if someone offers you Scarecrow drugs just remember G.L.A.R.B.I.M.A.C.T.A.F.I.N.
insure the fuck out of your apartment
blow your life savings on the most expensive piece of art you can find depicting a clown, a cat, a bird, or any kind of duality
wait for a supervillain to wreck your shit in pursuit of your theme-appropriate art
cash out your insurance policy and move to Central City
I did actually see him out one time.
Me being gay has nothing to do with that though.
While I went to the post office to leave a package, some asshole broke into my car, took a massive shit on the passenger seat, and stole the Nintendo Switch I left in the backseat.
You can't have fucking anything in Gotham City.
thinking you're gonna get insurance in this city to cover theft
I shiggidy diggidy
Hey guys, I got a new Nintendo Switch. Have any video game recommendations?
Just did groundbreaking for another abandoned factory today.
Why the fuck do they never put anything into these things? Who pays for all of these empty buildings?
At least the pay's good. Just weird is all I'm saying.
Can you believe they made games about Batman saving this city? What a crock of shit. If he was real maybe I wouldn’t have lost my parents to another Joker gas attack.
I'm gonna put on a cape and kick your ass
What do they even do again?
So last night I was taking a leak behind a dumpster as I usually do after getting shitfaced to cope with the Bat kicking my ass. You're not going to believe this, but I saw Red Hood and Batgirl, not the fat redhead one but the fat-in-other-places blonde purple one, walking out of an abandoned trap house. I didn't have my trusty piece on me so I could only watch them, and they didn't notice me.
For some reason, Red Hood walked with more pep to his step while Batgirl walked with a limp, almost most bowlegged. Weird...
you deserve it for being a nintentoddler instead of getting the Mr Terrific Game-o-sphere
bullock singlehandedly supports all the small businesses with his coffee and donut allowance. no idea what the other niggas do
i hate Batman at least the mob left you alone if you didn't fuck with them now it's fucking fear gas and joker toxin bombings every other goddamn week
dressing yourself as a bat at night is gay as fuck and no one can convince me otherwise. fucking woke bullshit in this city.
I hate that I was born in this godforsaken city. What parents would bring a child into a world like this? I'm pretty sure my parents used to hench too. Fml.
I like to imagine these kinda threads just being one guy talking to himself
You guys hear that Batman has a sidekick now? Rumor has it he’s not what you’d be expecting though. He’s a kid. I’m talking no way he’s more than 14. If that weren’t enough, he’s dressed in the shortest shorts imaginable.
What the FUCK did B-man mean by this?
More like Blapman lol
Fear Toxin fucking sucks stay away from that shit if you can. Joker Toxin just makes your face hurt, a lot.
bump
ITT: we pretend
Cringe LARP.
This too is cringe.
Hey so my girlfriend's a Poison Ivy henchwoman, means she gets the sexy bodysuit but I'm concerned at the work environment she's in honestly with the gardening those All Little Shop of Horrors, Night of the Triffids tier plants day in day out.
I found one of those ninja stars batman has and nearly cut my finger off picking it up how does he do it?
he's not a pussy unlike you