Spider-Thread: Late Night Black Suit Edition

Question

Spider-Thread: Late Night Black Suit Edition

Well it's been an eventful day, and a certain Polish child molester seemed to have some sort of meltdown over it. It's 1:18 AM in Warsaw and since we've put the kiddo to bed, let's get down to it.

Joe Kelly's ASM #1: Do we like it, hate it, or do we just not care?

Hellgate: Retarded, or simply gay?

Are we angry that MJ is Venom, or just glad that it's not Paul?

Is Ewing really going to get rid of Paul, or is it just another tease?

Spider-Man versus the Sinister Sixteen: JMS is back and it's not in continuity, what do we think?

Is Ultimate Spider-Man still going to eat ASM's lunch, or is ASM #1 coming out at the very start of the month and USM #16 coming out at the very end of the month going to skew the figures?

Why is this one Polish child molester so angry about Spider-Man and so obsessed with the X-Men?

Let's actually try to figure some of this shit out!

Is that ai?

Quick PSA as well, but the Gwenschizo usually crops up around 0500 to 0800 PST. If he shows up earlier than that then please remind him that he's not getting adequate sleep, and will soon die of premature heart failure.

He usually goes back to sleep around 1600 PST, if you want to take a break from him just come by around again during that time. He'll keep the thread bumped, along with anyone who likes poking him with a stick and seeing him lose it.

Apologies to any Polish anons who have to ruin their sleep schedules to avoid this pedophile. You will be missed.

It's a print sold on Etsy. If they're selling it, I really hope it's not AI!

Bizarre and nonsensical cultural appropriation?
Bad and generic design?
No charisma or any sort of personality?
Ridiculously overpowered and has to be stopped by authorial fiat and weird coincidences?

WELCOME BACK WAYEP

Have you read any good or decent spidey comics lately? I did. Web of Spider-man 7. In which Spider-man is trapped in a dream by Nightmare who wants Spider-man to save him from the Hulk. It was written by Peter David and there's some real signs of the introspective psychiatric stuff that would later happen in PAD's X-factor.

Joe Kelly's ASM #1: Do we like it, hate it, or do we just not care?

Somewhere between dislike and apathy. I’m not buying it at any rate.

Hellgate: Retarded, or simply gay?

Awful, boring design. Doesn’t seem to have any personality or anything interesting. Like said it’s Wayep 2.0

Are we angry that MJ is Venom, or just glad that it's not Paul?

I’m in the latter camp and feel enthused that Gomez says that things are not going to go well for Paul and that Peter/MJ people getting something to smile about. He already told the truth when he said it wasn’t Paul.

Is Ewing really going to get rid of Paul, or is it just another tease?

I think there’s going to be a lot of angry Paulfags regardless, but they are an angry people.

Spider-Man versus the Sinister Sixteen: JMS is back and it's not in continuity, what do we think?

Good. I’m an MJfag at heart and I have no more investment in 616’s continuity

Is Ultimate Spider-Man still going to eat ASM's lunch, or is ASM #1 coming out at the very start of the month and USM #16 coming out at the very end of the month going to skew the figures?

It may get a bump for a month and the usual schizos will crow over it, but it won’t last. The fact that they’re getting renewed past 36 issues shows that the schizo’s claims that it’ll end after the Maker comes back was just more Polack lies

Why is this one Polish child molester so angry about Spider-Man and so obsessed with the X-Men?

Developmental delay. Most pedophiles are emotionally stunted and emotionally disregulated.

I was actually reading World War Hulk again and impressed with how Based Banner did nothing wrong. As far as I know Hulk seems to like Peter because Peter never treated him like shit if that one recent Joe Fixit/Spider-Man crossover mini was any indication

If anyone knows what it's like for someone to get a bum rap.

>Joe Kelly's ASM #1: Do we like it, hate it, or do we just not care?

It was a fat load of nothing.

>Hellgate: Retarded, or simply gay?

Stupid

>Are we angry that MJ is Venom, or just glad that it's not Paul?

Im not happy about any of this.

>Is Ewing really going to get rid of Paul, or is it just another tease?

we could be so lucky.

>Spider-Man versus the Sinister Sixteen: JMS is back and it's not in continuity, what do we think?

Might be fun.

>Is Ultimate Spider-Man still going to eat ASM's lunch,

Issue 1 will sky rocket but after that it will level at to a point probably lower to what it was before.

Hot take but I think the Peter Parkerization of even Randy Robertson and the abrupt failure of his relationship with Janice, despite them suddenly being cool with each other at the very end of Zeb's run (we still don't know if Randy was the person Tombstone shot or something), does show us something.

ASM’s problems aren’t because editorial wants to keep Peter young and relatable but because they are angry and sad men with deep issues regarding women and relationships in any form.

Mediocre

Gay

Angry because superhero MJ will always be shit

Maybe

Not in continuity

Possible skewing

Easy replies

More of the issue needed to be spent fighting the Rhino. I don't know why so many writers these days tend to downplay the super hero shit in our super hero comic but oh sure lets make sure we get MULTIPLE pages of job interviews, bars and people who ARE NOT Spider-man in my spiderman comic book.

Peter Parker is Spider-Man. The lack of Peter Parker plots is part of why modern Spider-Man is so shit. If you don't understand this then you do not understand Spider-Man.

It's as if every criticism you can apply to USM can also be applied to ASM even harder, except that ASM has none of the perks that USM does to make up for its failings.

It helps that Peter Parker is barely in it. I don't know who this manchild starring in Spider-Man is supposed to be. Is he Elon Musk?

Is Nick Lowe's ideal Spider-Man just Elon Musk?

Peter Parker is Spider-Man. The lack of Peter Parker plots is part of why modern Spider-Man is so shit

Okay so why are we spending 9 pages of our comic book on Norman and shitty new villain?

Joe Kelly's ASM #1: Do we like it, hate it, or do we just not care?

i simply don't care. it brings nothing new to the table and is just another renumbering soft reset

Hellgate: Retarded, or simply gay?

retarded

Are we angry that MJ is Venom, or just glad that it's not Paul?

i'm just tired of it. it's obviously editorial and ewing is a buffer instrument to shield themselves

Is Ewing really going to get rid of Paul, or is it just another tease?

see above. this is lowe and the spider office. they will never admit fault and always double down. ewing couldn't get rid of paul even if he wanted to

Spider-Man versus the Sinister Sixteen: JMS is back and it's not in continuity, what do we think?

don't care, JMS has been washed for a while, his cap run was disappointing

Is Ultimate Spider-Man still going to eat ASM's lunch, or is ASM #1 coming out at the very start of the month and USM #16 coming out at the very end of the month going to skew the figures?

prob later but USM is still incredible, marvel might try to claim "victory" with yet another #1 relaunch

Why is this one Polish child molester so angry about Spider-Man and so obsessed with the X-Men?

i don't know who that anon is but i understand the spidey frustration

So if Wayep is Wayep (Greek), will they have Zulu, Maori, and Mongolian flavored guys in the future so they can have a whole international team of this nonsense?

This does not feel like a Spider-man villain

Joe Kelly's ASM #1: Do we like it, hate it, or do we just not care?

It was a big load of nothing, which is still better than Wells’ terrible first issue.

Hellgate: Retarded, or simply gay?

Retarded, need to see more of him to judge if it’s gay too.

Are we angry that MJ is Venom, or just glad that it's not Paul?

I feel nothing

Is Ewing really going to get rid of Paul, or is it just another tease?

It feels like he’s trying to flesh him out a bit, not really sure if he wants to get rid of him.

Spider-Man versus the Sinister Sixteen: JMS is back and it's not in continuity, what do we think?

I like what I hear very much

Is Ultimate Spider-Man still going to eat ASM's lunch, or is ASM #1 coming out at the very start of the month and USM #16 coming out at the very end of the month going to skew the figures?

#1s are consistently best sellers specially ASM. So the first issue will be higher, but there’s a strong chance of USM outselling ASM #2.

Why is this one Polish child molester so angry about Spider-Man and so obsessed with the X-Men?

He’s Arcade

violent towards kids

weird obsession with Mutants

hatred towards Spider-Man

One of the Immortal Hulk one shots established that Hulk (not Banner) wasn’t affected by the OMIT memory wipe and yeah, the big guy thinks that Peter’s a good man.

based recognizes based

bruce's relationship with betty is even more dysfunctional than the retards shutting down peter/mj

The funniest thing is that he completely seems to lack a visible face or personality. He doesn't seem to be human either. Just a big strong guy with a generic design.

It looks boring, which means Itwill be boring. I doubt it has any involvement with Peter, it's just a thing he has to fight

It's just weird that the drama and the lolcows behind the book are far, far more interesting than the book itself. That's like the kiss of death for getting anyone's interests. No wonder the Polish guy is spiral again.

At this point all my investment in ASM is seeing guys like Gwenschizo, Nick Lowe, or Tom Brevoort freak out. They're all pedophiles.

They're absolutely pushing to have Paul rape Dylan Brock...

Honestly it wasn’t bad, just boring, Peter isn’t an interesting protagonist under modern marvel. He’s just bland and kinda sad, i also don’t see how all of his story can fit within 10 years. A divorce makes him to old but forming a multinational company and losing it doesn’t? At this point he should be 30, just for the sake of having all the marvel universe fit into the span of fifteen years rather than ten

Boring is bad, I think. Boring and safe isn't what people want after all the damage Wells did. They should have extended an olive branch instead of doubling down. But much like Gwenschizo, they are retarded.

Proud and retarded. I think none of them would have been as funny if they weren't retarded and utterly arrogant about it.

I mean Kindred ended up being a lot of nothing but right out the gate you got there was some personal shit going on. This dude is just ... you could plop this in the newest issue of Avengers and it would not only work just as well but probably better.

In some ways, boring is worse than bad. Bad at least gets a reaction.

I'm gonna call it right here. Kelly's run WILL be better than Zeb's. It'll be more competent, better plotted, and it won't shit the bed nearly as much.

And it'll sell significantly less.

I honestly don’t even know what an olive branch could be, I’m pretty much all out of good will as long as Lowe is around. Even if they got rid of him I don’t see how they could salvage 616 peter, he’s got nothing interesting going on he’s got no friends and all of his enemies have to be split between him and the five other spider people. If anything I’d want 30 uninterrupted single issue stories, but we can’t even get one these days

Was it really that hard to find a real picture of black suit spidey? Get that AI slop out of here.

He could at least apologize, and admit that Paul didn't land, and that they tried to do their best but failed.
But no. It's just doubling down and arrogance. They shit their diapers and they're proud of it. They're wallowing in their own feces, and to them, it's strength.

I don’t think Paul was ever meant to land, I think it’s just a banal way to stir up controversy shit on long time fans and let wells work out his own marital problems on the page. What point in this whole mess could you objectively call Paul’s addition good story telling? The fucker pops up out of no where to finish a story that was already fine being a two issue fight em up and got dragged into being a part of peters life through banging his wife, where in that is good story telling or even good drama? They can’t apologize for it simply because they did it only out of spite, so why bother lying about it when the higher ups don’t care about the pittance amount of money their whole industry brings in in the grand scheme of things?

The most fun I've had with him is speculating on whether Paul will or won't rape Eddie Brock's son.

I mean, he'd probably try.

If anything I’d want 30 uninterrupted single issue stories, but we can’t even get one these days

This is exactly what the entire fucking comic industry needs. Pepper in some through plots and set ups pay out on later but for god's sake STOP WRITING FOR THE TRADE. You don't need to do complete "done in ones" but these decompressed style has gone on to far and all we ever get is several pages of small chapters that end up feeling weak.

We need a guy like Shooter again

It's telling that they treat him like Hitler.

And then they proved so very, very much worse. Marvel's reputation is in the shitter right now, especially with artists

Man I do love reading GOOD Spidey comics. I miss the humanity and the general pathos and way things feel like they're written by actual adult human beings.

I tried it. Every time I got annoyed with ASM, I wrote a bit more of a Spider-Man fanfic that was the kind of story that I missed.

I'm at 250,000 words now

With the exception of USM, current Spider-Man comics have left me feeling numb.

Good on you. I'm sick of being mad and angry. There's a lot of great comics to revisit and if you can channel your energies into something creative that's a fantastic alternative than just bitching online.

Oh I still bitch online, this just made me that angry.

But I'm posting it online and people seem to dig it, and someday I hope that it's something they can read when they're fed up with the comics.