I fucking hate everything

Be me

Have been waiting for Minecraft Movie since I was 11-12 years old.

Kept hoping over the years as the movie went into development hell.

Eventually forget about it, enjoy animations from very kino YouTubers instead throughout the decade.

Fast forward to last night.

Am 22 now.

Watching it for the first time on 123movies because I wasn't wild about what I saw.

Unfinished CGI. Not the priority, I can judge the completed CGI afterwards if I need to.

Plot is literally just Minecraft but live action and Reddit jokes.

People behind the film clearly have not played the game. Only very surface-level knowledge.

Nobody involved even knew who Technoblade even was until the kid actor brought up during prod.

Nether stuff is literally just a rip off of one of CaptainSparklez's animated series and without any of the kino.

Reddit jokes.

Reddit jokes.

REDDIT

Jack Black is great but he does not fit Steve a all.

Keeps making jokes about Jeep Grand Cherokee. FUCK OFF STELLANTIS

I feel literally nothing except for cringe the whole time. No notable buildup, ending was anti-climatic. A whole bunch of nothing.

I waited... over a decade... and then wasted an hour of my time... watching some of the worst slop I have ever watched. THEY HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR THIS

It's for kids

SHUT UP. Minecraft has not culturally been for just kids since fucking forever, it's for EVERYONE. Anyone who actually plays the game knows this. And I am tired of being told that kids deserve nothing but slop yet in the same breath they complain about them liking slop to begin with. Like are you STUPID OR SOMETHING???? Kids deserve BETTER. They were already getting BETTER with so many different YouTube Content Creators over the years. These Hollywood hacks can only DREAM of getting anywhere NEAR THAT BAR, I GUESS???

THERE IS NO FUCKING EXCUSE FOR THIS AND EVEN KID ME WOULD'VE BEEN WEIRDED THE FUCK OUT

You are being autistic

I KNOW, AND I DON'T CARE, GO FUCK YOURSELF. I DON'T EVER GET THIS MAD OVER MEDIA BUT I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. I HATE HOLLYWOOD, I HATE THESE HACKS, AND I HATE THE CONSUMERS WHO HAVE ENABLED THIS. AND FUCK THE STUPID APES WHO TRASH UP THE THEATERS OVER REDDIT CRAP. HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION! FUCK EVERYTHING

i really like this wallpaper.

my favourite part was that swiftness golem, he was aura farming like a badass

They combined the two things children love most: Minecraft and raunchy family comedies.

I am so glad I missed out on the minecraft fad

what the fuck is a reddit joke

chicken jokcky?!?!?!!?!?!?!?
ahhhhhhhh!!!?!?!!?!?!?!?
maybe go back to bed BOOMER!!!!!!!

Makes I fucking hate Mars bar.

why do you hate mars bars? i dont really like chocolate but theyre not the worst of them.

now you know how us 90s kids feel about the Sonic movies
at least yours has bad press. It's twice as bad when everyone praises the thing you always wanted and now despise
and now the Smurfs people are gonna do a fucking zelda movie.

The cancelled movie didn't have any brought to another world bullshit and judging by the concept art would've had an enderdragon fight ending, the only reason we didn't get that is because no normie appeal

Hearing about all the bullshit that's been happening in theaters with even kids having to tell grown adults to please shut the fuck up and stop throwing popcorn at the screen and on other people and bringing chickens to the theater and screaming "LE EBIN CHERKY CHOKEY" shows that the infantilization of people is an extremely real problem and people need to fucking do something. But no, the only people speaking up against it are just doing the same old "think of the [sad underemployeed person]" shtick like they did with Velma getting cancelled. Not actually trying to raise awareness that people are genuienly getting more fucking stupid and braindead. No one will ever go far enough as to point that out.

>Be me

you have to go back to r/Anon Babble immediately

Try discussing this on Anon Babble or Anon Babble without losing a braincell.

i too keep getting told to "go back" this past week, is it a school holiday for america or something?

Fair, I use that excuse a lot.
but uh, naw I don't wanna get banned, I'm just gonna.. sweep that up.

How could you not tell it was gonna be absolute slop as soon as the first trailer dropped?

I never wanted a movie as a kid and was just satisfied off the Minecraft parodies and animations people were already making. I only liked this movie for jack black and Jason mamoa and didn’t really care for much else. The unfinished version of the movie is definitely funnier. Thought the movie turned out better than I expected. (I expected it to be dog shit cause everyone was hate bombing it for just how it looked in the trailer)

Not actually trying to raise awareness that people are genuienly getting more fucking stupid and braindead.

You can do that without whining about the popularity of a meme movie

Oh, you sweet summer child.

Have been waiting for Minecraft Movie since I was 11-12 years old

why

You faggots shit yourselves over every little thing, God.

underage

oLiVe GaRdEn???
HOHHHH YEEEEAAHH!

I actually met the director all the way back in high school. For film class, the teacher apparently had real connections with Hollywood and invited Jared Hess as a guest speaker.
I swear on my life that I am telling the truth.
He came in to talk about his experience working on Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre. I vividly remember him bringing out a scrap book filled with pictures of mexican wrestlers as reference material he used for Nacho Libre. We asked him if he could call Jack Black. He did. Jack Black did not respond but Jared Hess claims he texted back saying hi.
We then asked him what his next movie was. He said that he has just finished work on an animated Unicorn movie for Netflix and that his next film was a "big video game" movie.
I made the wild guess of Mario. Who knew that he actually meant Minecraft, I sure didn't.
So in a way, I knew about the Minecraft Movie that we know of WAAAAAAAY before everyone else did. I like to think that when he tried to call Jack Black, that is what inspired him to get Jack Black involved in the Minecraft movie or at the very least is what planted the seed.
Having finally seen the movie for my 22nd birthday, I can honestly say that its a Minecraft movie. It's a wacky, ridiculous kids movie with a nonsensical plot and Jack Black hamming it up in a good way as he usually does in literally everything he's in. No matter what he just has to say words in that Jack Black cadence and that's what I love him as an actor so much. The references to other Jared Hess movies I also liked. The tater tot pizza bit HAD to be an elaborate Napoleon dynamite reference there's no way it wasn't.
The dance party ending brought a tear to my eye. This movie is like a strange needlessly elaborate swan song of my youth mainly because I sorta kinda knew it was a thing from the director himself when I was in high school. I have no more to say other than...I feel alive. Like a redstone over driiiive
youtu.be/0LWHN2noJ-U?si=VFdeGUP8876TFPXF

What's worse is that Anon Babble has been completely unusable this entire week because of indian shills spamming this shit

L-L-L-LAVA CH-CH-CH-CHICKEN

I FRICKING LOOOOOVE CHICKEN JOCKKEYYY AHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!??!!?!??!
CHICKEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!!

(everyone in this thread is the same person apart from you)

Reddit jokes.

Reddit jokes.

REDDIT

Jack Black is great

Pottery

Okay but why was this movie actually so mid? More specifically, why does this movie have such a terribly structured and rushed plot? Even for children's movie standards, the majority of this film feels like it's especially poorly paced.
Was this movie rushed and they just didn't finish filming all of it or what?

*Epic Inception-style horns blare over a darkened Earth spinning in cyberspace*

"In a world... where everyone’s online... and no one has a username..."

*Screaming YouTube thumbnails, Pepe frogs raining from the sky, flashing green text over black screens, and the slow pan of an empty bedroom lit only by the blue glow of a monitor*

SMASH CUT TO:
Electric guitar sting
Jack Black, in a Guy Fawkes mask and trench coat, kicking down a door:
“LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

A nervous normie child looks up at him:
“Wh-who are you…?”
Jack Black rips off the mask dramatically.
“I...am Anonymous!

*Explosion of Reddit upvotes flying into flames as Jack Black does a slow-mo backflip into a glowing portal shaped like a keyboard*

Narrator:
“When the evil corporation ClickTok threatens to cancel free speech forever…”

Cut to: Kamala Harris as the evil CEO with a Bluetooth headset:
“We’ll make everyone… use their real name…”

Cue dramatic zoom on Jack Black’s horrified face:
“Doxxed? In this economy?!”

Emotional montage of Jack Black alone, scrolling at 3am. He whispers:
“They called us incels… trolls… losers… But we’re more than that. We’re… a community.”

*inspirational swelling music and a montage of allies joining him*

Zendaya as “Shitposter Supreme”

Danny DeVito as “Anon Babble Grandpa”

Keanu Reeves as the ghost of moot

*Montage of hacker action scenes to Licensed Music
Jack Black typing “FREEDOM” really fast
Spaghetti flying out of his pockets in an epic battle
Black giving a Braveheart-style speech with soijaks waving like flags
A high-speed chase… in a shopping cart, through a Best Buy parking lot*

Narrator:
“This summer… get ready to get based.”

*bombastic Jack Black original musical number, autotuned to hell:
“WE ARE ANON—YMOUS! / We type and we fight / From day into night! / We’re cringe, but we’re...FREEEEE!”

Anon Babble: The Movie

Rated PG-13

WT SNACKS!

It wasn't good but it was fun in a stupid way.

The black lady could have been cut.
same with the plot with the villager going to the real world and fucking the principle

Do you think anyone cares, Anon? Do you see anyone actually discussing the film's plot or characters? No, all the "discussions" are shills and retards spamming "chicken jockey" like monkeys and "muh jack black" crap.
Considering how the workprint of the film got leaked and literally no one gave a shit, I think the production of the movie was very terrible and nobody at WB actually cared enough, as long as the moolah came in.
Just a shame that children are subjected to such shit because subhuman "adults" don't believe children should receive quality entertainment.

Just a shame that children are subjected to such shit because subhuman "adults" don't believe children should receive quality entertainment.

Bold of you to assume children aren't the ones begging their parents to go see this movie

The movie is live action
Fuck off

Bold of you to assume children aren't the ones begging their parents to go see this movie

You must not be very bright given how you completely misunderstood my point. The fact that children will see this regardless is exactly the problem. They're young and can't know any better. The problem is in the subhuman parents and execs treating their children like cattle. That's how we got to the soulless modern world and many zoomers being schizo.