Ohana means abandoning your sibling and giving custody to a neighbor

Ohana means abandoning your sibling and giving custody to a neighbor.
Don't worry though Lilo, I got you a shitty $40 sweater of the college I abandoned you to go to to rub it in, hope it makes up for putting you up for adoption!

nooo don't escape the cycle of poverty

Lilo and Nani weren't poor, they had a giant house

The autistic obsession and consistent exaggeration of this non-issue in the remake makes me think most of Anon Babble has some sort of abandonment issues
Maybe that's why this board is so emotionally maladjusted

Paying $184,168 ($46,042 for out of state tuition for four years) to get a niche occupation meme science degree at UCSD

Escaping cycle of poverty

She was a desperate wagie anon, what the fuck movie did you watch?

she was looking for a job because Bubbles demanded her to have one, not because money issues

A desperate wagie trying to pay the bills for a house they got from their DEAD PARENTS you fucking monkey!

It's kinda funny how you can't grasp that the issue is it goes against the entire central theme and moral of the first film and try to headcanon it's because of people's personal issues instead of people not liking yet another character/theme assassination of a prior film

She literally had 100% scholarship.

Shut up faggot

It's okay the aliens gave her a teleporter so she can visit whenever

The fact that you label someone going of to college without their sibling as "abandonment" says it all

doesn't change the fact that

marine biologist

She was literally put up for adoption

Did a bunch of anons get abandoned by their momma to go to college? Is that why this makes people so angry?

I feel like you could probably get a pretty good aquarium job with that in hawaii of all places.
It's also surprisingly good for transferring over for regular medical school if the niche isn't full . Had an optometrist who studied marine biology for his bach.

There's a quote online that sums it up.

"In the future, the only people who will remember all your hard work and extra hours will be your kids."

Basically, American culture is now so heavily built on career orientation and ambition that a lot of kids are growing up without the level of emotional attachment they should have towards a parent because time that should have been spent on them is spent on career focus and then when the kid gets older, their moms and dads pulled a surprised pikachu face when the kid has very little emotional attachment

Dolphin cave tours.

Would you defend a Tangled remake where they end up forgiving Mother Gothel and Rapunzel ends up visiting periodically to let her use her hair?
What if in the Aladdin remake, Genie didn't get freed?

bullshit. kids dont appreciate shit

I'm watching the Monaco Grand Prix and the announcer said "working feverishly" just as I read your post and I feel like this is nicely serendipitous.

Glow less.

i have not seen this movie but i like seeing discussions about it

They don't in the moment

whataboutism

ineffective whataboutism at that

Once upon a time "nani chooses education over her sister" would have been whataboutism.

Bro just give up your child to the colonizer state it's not like Hawaii has a sordid and horrifying history of what the government does with their childr...oh...

So...why couldn't Nani go to college in Hawaii for marine biology?

Had an optometrist who studied marine biology for his bach.

How poetic... studied the sea, helps you see.

I'm so sorry that your parents didn't love you, and I fear for your children

Because then the film couldn't have propaganda encouraging splitting up Native families.

Disney's lack of basic morals is hilarious

She chose herself

raising a lil brown girl

nah

basic morals

and whats that? living in poverty is a good thing?

Billy get the fuck off Anon Babble or Im telling your parol officer

That one autist trying REAL hard to protect this film

It'll eventually happen to a movie you hold dear and you'll understand

it doesnt need protection

x.com/CocoaFox023/status/1926088618113708201
I can tell the writers dont have or come from troubled families cuz how can you talk like this to a little girl?

We were left behind

So did their parents not die in a car accident in this one or what? That's such a retarded thing to say about your dead parends

Someone is definitely botting the Audience Rating on Rotten Tomatoes with genuine lies.

The film was cute
I understand why lgbtq+ people are upset because they literally erased a queer relationship from the movie
I understand why native Hawaiians are upset because it removed any semblance of anti-tourist or anti-colonist sentiment
I understand why fans of the original are upset because they totally ripped out the original lesson/theme of the film

Personally I didn't like it because it was poorly conceived, poorly shot, and poorly edited. Most scenes wind up dull and lifeless or even confusing because they seem to be trying to copy the "camera" of the original but that's obviously a stupid idea. Actual people aren't as expressive as animations, shots that work on the page because they're a close up of a hyper exaggerated character expression or motion simply don't translate well. The new characters and scenes are shot better but they interrupt the flow of the movie and prevent the audience from being able to focus on Lilo and Stitch. Nani's troubles should be background noise, motivation for Lilo, not the focus of a 10 minute scene that distracts from the emotional cores of the film.
Probably the most egregious issues come from scenes cut for time or rewritten that set up payoffs that still happen. Things like Stitch's "also cute! And fluffy!" line makes no sense in the new context
The actors are doing the best they can with the material but it all feels disconnected with no emotional through-line. Shit just happens because it did in the original.
I've also never seen Galifanakis be so painfully unfunny.

I mean the stitch anime already shit all over ohana

The quote doesn't imply that they'll remember the extra hours spent at work "fondly", rather the opposite.

The anime was always intended to be noncanon. At least the chinese have enough decency to make it clear Stitch & Ai is their own shitty noncanon fanfic instead of executives trying to make the Stitch! dub semi-canon.

Disney ain't sending their best

Kys fag

Get a real job, you suck at this one holy shit.

Death to all live action remakes and those who make them.

neighbor and David just don't help Nani go to school at a local college

It's Hawaii, they have fucking marine biology.

Yes, money can't buy happiness. Especially not if you have to metaphorically sell your own family for it.

As an aside, I have an inkling that all these deliberately retarded posters in these threads are trying to troll to get discussion for this movie going, with any means necessary. It's too artificially stupid to be real discussion.

Kauai doesn't have much, she'd have to go to another island

Why didn't Nani just prostitute herself for Lilos sake? Many women do that

It does make logical sense that Nani would have to leave Lilo behind if she wanted to actually pursue college like that, they live on one of the less-populated islands so at the very least she'd have to go to Oahu. It's you know, against the entire message of the original movie for her to do this, but it makes sense from like a physical space kind of way.

It's hardly abandoning to give your little sister to someone whose actually equipped to take care of her.

It's hardly abandoning to give your

That's abandoning anon

Thats norm for a disney release especially one that anticipates backlash. A bunch of people noticed live for Skywalker

Someone

Thinking it's not just an AI generating automated responses under the parameter "Write a review for the new Lilo and Stitch movie, and be sure to mention it's like the original".

Oh my sweet anon, you have no fucking idea how fucked things already are.

Would you defend a Tangled remake where they end up forgiving Mother Gothel and Rapunzel ends up visiting periodically to let her use her hair?

That's pretty much Encanto.

Yes but it is indeed canon that Lilo missed one meetup when Nani was giving birth so stitch went on. 20 year bender in space before falling in Japan

It really says something that the "people" (shills) who "like" this movie have to attack the criticism against it instead of explaining what's actually good about it. (The changes were not good and it's a steep uphill battle to defend farts and bad acting.)

Someone still has to manually put in the prompt for the AI, my case rests.

I didn't like the movie but I think Anon Babble's bitching about the changed ending is retarded especially when using dramatic language like abandoned. Nani can see Lilo whenever she wants

Ohana means nobody gets left behind or forgotten

Nani was forgotten in the og

All she got was a bunch of dead end jobs in the sequels and tv series, 3 more mouths to feed, didn’t have time to see David and barely even got to see Lilo she was being raised by aliens.

Nobody said she can’t get Lilo back when she finishes college. That’s the great part about kinship fostering. You still have that connection to the child.

Nani will be able to see Lilo whenever she wants, everyday if she wants because of the portal. When she is done with school she’ll either live next door or they’ll go to CPS and make a plan to transition Lilo back with Nani.

Because Nani will have a good paying job she’ll actually be able to have love for herself and time to be with Lilo.

Nani got the short end of the stick in the originals and I didn’t realize it until this version.

the post-credits feels like a completely half-assed copout hurriedly slapped together because test audiences responded poorly to the changed ending

because they gave her a portal gun so she can commute from hawaii to cali
but then, if she had a portal gun, then why does she need to go to college for 4 years to find work when she could use the portal for a business

Nobody said she can’t get Lilo back when she finishes college.

So let me get this straight, you have to headcanon a happy ending instead of just watching the original happy ending?

guys guys, this can still happen in-between classes

Yeah, the original movie made it really clear that Nani wanted to be apart from Lilo. There definitely wasn't a major narrative point about her desperately wanting to stay with Lilo and doing everything in her power to stay with her little sister. They just forgot her. Yup. That's how the original movie went down.

nigga its a movie
you have autism

You realize Lilo IS Nani's happiness, right? And David? And the home they build together with Jumba and Pleakley and everyone? Some people actually care about their families and derive happiness from having those people in their lives. Associating a higher paycheck with happiness is asinine - if Nani got that bigger paycheck do you know what she'd spend it on? Her fucking family.

hoo-rah.

Nani wanted to stay with Lilo because she was the last thread of a family they'd just had taken from them. Lilo also wanted to stay with Nani. They work together to make sure this can happen, and eventually build a new family in the process. It's the driving plot thread of the entire fucking movie. Nani leaving Lilo behind in any capacity completely spits in the fucking face of the underlying theme.

But this is the movie that made the "Ohana means family" scene in a literal fucking joke scene, so it's abundantly clear that was the intent.

Women aren't allowed to achieve happiness through family

Some people actually care about their families and derive happiness from having those people in their lives.

NANI?!

>All she got was a bunch of dead end jobs in the sequels and tv series, 3 more mouths to feed, didn’t have time to see David and barely even got to see Lilo she was being raised by aliens.
Anon, watch the show. Nani very much raises Lilo. She's the one teaching pretty much every life lesson, taking Lilo to hula practice, they have "house rules" set by Nani and even when Pleakley is looking after Lilo he's basically just following Nani's example and explicit instructions

I don't think you can take the sequels and series into consideration when judging if things improve for Nani in the context of the original film.

The ending montage and the credits () clearly show things improve significantly money-wise with the multiple mainland vacation photos and the stacked Christmas tree. Stitch helps out with the housework and (maybe) gets a job himself so Nani isn't drowning anymore. And there's certainly an implication that they'll be getting SOMETHING from the Federation as the official caretakers of Stitch.

look how miserable and poor Nani is, she's much better off in college

You're missing the forest for the trees, anon.
The issue is thematic, not canonic.

I will say, though, that people are clearly just repeating what they've heard and wailing about it rather than actually having seen the movie. The loss of that theme of family and the loss of emotional focus on Lilo and Stitch and their parallels is seen throughout the entire movie and makes it a pretty random and boring experience.
The film just completely fails to establish an emotional narrative, instead trying to rely on the threat of jumba to limp along.

Yeah I'm pretty sure the original intent of the movie was just that they figure out their new family dynamic and the entire situation improves for all of them. The original follow-ups like the TV show and sequel movies are fun in their own ways, but in the context of the original movie I don't think they were really what the intended future for the characters looked like.

Yeah, that's what happens when you try to turn a character that was meant to be comic relief and a lesson on how compassion can change a person into the fucking villain

There is a difference between college being close enough she can head back for a couple of weekends per semester and college being across an ocean. In perspective, if she went to college in-state it'd be possible for Nani to get out of class on Friday and take a ferry flight back home in time for dinner for less than $200 dollars.

I think that if they wanted this plot point to work they should have aged Nani up and made it so she was already attending college in order to give her perspective more weight.

Galifanakis looked pissed off the entire movie.
Not "haha funny Zach" Between Two Ferns pissed off, genuinely seething to be on-set and barely containing it pissed off.

itt ytboys who grew up rich

Honestly for all the complaints about the plot, which are fair, I'd like to say that I have a personal gripe with how the film itself looks. The original was fucking gorgeous and in my mind the best-looking of the post-Renaissance movies. The camera work, color grading, and just general cinematography in this movie looks like a late 90s made for TV film. It's not especially ugly but it looks cheap and boring as fuck.

I went by Dick actually

it feels like a straight-to-Disney+ film that they're trying to force as their big summer kids film

I felt this as well and said as much above. The movie is drab and colorless and the camera/editing work ranges from generic to fucking awful. There are so many shots that they blocked out to look exactly like the animation, not taking into account that THIS IS NOT ANIMATION AND THE SHOTS DON'T WORK NOW.

Because it actually was intended straight-to-Disney+ film that they're trying to force as their big summer kids film

Cope Jamarcus

you're right, the lighting is off. it needed to be more vibrant,

You know that's an interesting point actually.
The economy changed vastly between the time of the film and the remake.
Being able to care for an inherited home is one thing but Nani's jobs that made ends meet in the original shouldn't really work here.

That's a terrible point actually
It's a fucking movie
No one except hack comedians actually complain that the characters of Friends couldn't afford their apartments.
It's called suspension of disbelief.

trying to force as their big summer kids film

It appears to be working.
I predict a big second week drop off, but who knows?

The ending doesn’t make any sense. Because she now has a portal gun where she could travel anywhere instantly. Why not just stay home take care of your little sister and live in Hawaii and then for classes teleport over to California. It is literally the best of both worlds

I'm black and was born in a poor household, I hate the movie attacking families

white people dont have money problems so they dont do this

Never met a hispanic or asian family that wouldnt be fine keeping their kids at home until 25 as long as they were working or saving up.

seems this post hit a nerve

Because the argument they're making is that Nani ca mog handle both Lilo and her school needs. If she was sole caretaker she couldn't take her off to dance classes, doctors appointments, anything. In the logic of the movie it has to be either Nani continues to fail as caretaker or she only comes by when it is convenient for her.

remember, señor el stitch, Familia means Family

Why didnt Nami join onlyfans? She clearly would’ve made a living at least if not a lot of money and she could then afford to live with her sister.

wanting a movie with a fairy tale ending, where everyone lives happily ever after

THIS IS ESCAPISM, CAN'T YOU SEE? THIS IS UNHEALTHY!

The movie was originally going to be made for a Disney+ exclusive. But then Disney remembered how fucking marketable stitch is.

Because the argument they're making is that Nani can't handle both Lilo and her school needs.

This is such a retarded argument that shows how away from what people's life experiences the writers actually are
So many have kids and are taking classes, sometimes working as well. She isn't cramming 24/7 for shit and can take care after Lilo

yeah, life sucks ass lets have movies and video games where it doesn't such ass so much

OMG! the girl with the alien dog and her friend aliens from the alien federation can't have a happy ending because it's NOT real in our real world OMG! OMG! OMG!

Thank God this film about aliens coming down to Earth with a scientific experiment that ends with Nani having a literal portal gun avoids escapism

The worst part about it, I saw a post on Twitter that said some Hawaii colleges give free tuition for the locals trying to get Marine Biology degrees. Not sure if that's true or not, but if so, makes Disney look stupid for writing that in.

remakes now have to account for inflation

even my movies have to remind me how shitty it is

My mother is from Hawaii. I saw the movie with her and she told me something similar. Hawaii colleges will do free tuition for a native Hawaiians if they have a degree for something related to ocean

but then she would miss the opportunity to move to fucking California

Cali university is just BETTER! (even though the actual best university for marine biology is in NC)

Yes, but have you considered that California will collapse if ever generation doesn't abandon their families to come there seeking fame or prestige only to fall into destitution, debt, and prostitution?

UCSD is actually pretty top-tier for marine biology.

UCLA and UCSB are both better
and those get beat out by Duke, Brown, and Northwestern

San Diego isn't as shitty as LA or San Francisco but it's not great and getting worse.

t. 858 area code.

What's she gonna do? Feed the Sardines at Birch aquarium?

Whaaaaaaaaaat? You mean Modern Disney didn't do any sort of actual research about the place they're setting their cinemaslop in? Say it isn't so!

wanting to do marine biology somewhere cold

or worse, somewhere LANDLOCKED

lmao

I know Duke is great and there are better marine biology schools, but that doesn't make UCSD a stupid choice for the filmmakers to go with

Is this a jab at all the retards going to college for art and thinking they can work for Disney?

do you not know Birch is part of a much larger facility?

or she could to to school locally where i don't know, the entire area is surrounded by ocean
not like she lives in hawaii

Yes, the entire premise is fundamentally flawed and retarded, no question, but nitpicking the specific school is just missing the forest for the trees

synchronicity

live action doesn't have jumba in a santa outfit giving lilo a hovercraft

see
the post is retarded

reading comprehension, work on it

We have cut the links between child and parent, and between man and man, and between man and woman. No one dares trust a wife or a child or a friend any longer. But in the future there will be no wives and no friends. Children will be taken from their mothers at birth, as one takes eggs from a hen. The sex instinct will be eradicated. Procreation will be an annual formality like the renewal of a ration card. We shall abolish the orgasm. Our neurologists are at work upon it now. There will be no loyalty, except loyalty towards the Party. There will be no love, except the love of Big Brother. There will be no laughter, except the laugh of triumph over a defeated enemy. There will be no art, no literature, no science. When we are omnipotent we shall have no more need of science. There will be no distinction between beauty and ugliness. There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed.

lmao is that really in the movie, she has portal technology so she can get back and forth to her out of state Uni? Peak millennial writing

but only for the poor*

*everyone but the ruling class

But always -- do not forget this, Winston -- always there will be the intoxication of power, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face -- for ever.

Because Nani will have a good paying job she’ll actually be able to have love for herself

burger perspective on life is so fucked up

I'm more a Brave New World guy

makes another retarded movie

wtf timmy gunna do

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

D-Does the outgrossing take into account inflation?

THEY MADE HER WEAR THE SWEATER TOO LOOOOL

yeah but unlike the original these tickets are being bought with monopoly money

give it barely any budget

twist the story to accommodate to the lack of budget even if it spits on the original one

rake in the cash

Disney did it, they found the winning formula for their live-action remakes

and the two billion more people on the planet than existed when the original came out.

no but it's not far off

they found the winning formula for their live-action remakes

include an incredibly popular, marketable, and merchandisable mascot?

It has to make ~$438 million globally to surpass the original when adjusting for inflation.

if you count inflation

lilo and stitch made 245,799,997 in 2002

it'll be 445,200,000 in 2025

Something tells me its mostly asians since they fucking love Stitch no matter what.

This outcome was inevitable
The actual reason Snow White flopped is because nobody outside of animation and film nerds gives a shit about Snow White.
Lilo and Sitch is like crack to the normie public, it's going to easily clear the billion smackums club and there's nothing we can do about it.

It's already underperforming when accounting for inflation.

Asia will no doubt do its part, but don't pretend like everywhere else is ingoring it. In it handily beat Mission Impossible by 30 million its opening day alone.

It's almost as if Disney media in general "forgets" about the parents/adult figures to focus on the children and child-adjacent characters, aka the characters that appeal to the target audience.
They're not selling Nani plushies you nimwit.

What in God's fuck is that last one.

Coping this hard

Don't do this anon, I like how this going to end either.

*don't like

If the the only money metric they have is incredibly misleading then I'd say it's not headed to a Billie.
If they could say something like "Highest Gross for an Animated film for Memorial Day weekend" that would be something.

Anon...please

They're not selling Nani plushies you nimwit.

I'd buy one.

I'm not sure how to feel about this when A Minecraft Movie opened to $301M globally. Minecraft was actually an awful fuckint watch outside of memes, this was a crap movie but if minecraft is a 2/10, this is a 4/10. So the fact it's selling at $341M globally tracks.

Out of state? She's from Hawaii. That's gonna be horribly expensive.

More weasel words.
"Movies have earned" is the give away

Too bad, they won't make one. You're not worth it. Go buy a Stitch instead.

Wh, yes, because Dead parent money is infinite, and will always be there to pay for the bills, fucking mongoloid retard.

The grandmother never kidnapped any babies, she was just overly critical of the ones she had

Redpill:
The program doesn’t matter when you go to college, especially if similar level program
Only thing that matters at “top” programs is connections. The specific college doesn’t matter once you have experience

Stop doing this...it's only going to hurt more when the number goes up

2025 Stitch is $183 million of that, domestically. The other movies made the other $139 million, and that's because they're not muh Disney.

Serious question: How hard would it have been for Nani to just take Lilo with her? They have a portal gun! She could even make extra money by renting rooms in their house.

Something to consider is that Lilo and Stitch wasn't some amazing success for Disney. It performed better than the films released before it but when you compare budget to global box office it only slightly beat out Dinosaur and was blown out of the water by Brother Bear.

Leaving Hawaii to study Marine Biology

Fucking what? That's like the most prestigious place to learn that subject in the world!

Because Nani will have a good paying job she’ll actually be able to have love for herself and time to be with Lilo.

What the fuck is this shit mentality?
Mental illness, narcissism?
Seriously that's fucking retarded, you love your family more than you love yourself. Holy shit dude it's like you failed at being human at some existential level, one's family is one's happiness being with them is what makes it all worthwhile.
Shit man if people like you wrote this fucking mess that would explain a lot, no fucking heart just lizards pretending to be mammalians, not even pretending to be humans but failing hard to imitate basic mammalian behavior.

Australia actually beats it out. In the US, Florida is the one with the biggest program surrounding it due to the Keys IIRC.

Nani is forced to rent out her parent’s room to help pay bills while working a job and trying to raise Lilo on her own

when Jumbaa and Pleakley arrive to spy and try capturing Stitch they rent the room

Nani initially reluctant about it but they need the money

tension between the aliens escalating under Nani’s nose

but Nani is courteous to them, Jumbaa is surprised how respectfully he’s treated while Pleakley is free to express how he wants

when Nani leaves to get the job at the general store Jumbaa pounces to apprehend Stitch, Lilo’s awareness be damned

house fight proceeds normally

Jumbaa succeeds at catching Stitch and they start to leave

but when CPS arrives to take Lilo both Jumbaa and Pleakley realize what they’ve done (ruined two people’s lives for the sake of their job)

Stitch convinces them to go back and help Lilo and Nani

when they decide to set things right it’s slightly too late, as the galactic force arrives to arrest Jumbaa for taking too long in capturing Stitch, strip Pleakley of his rank, and seize Stitch himself

CPS realize Lilo was telling the truth that aliens blew up her house

Lilo gets away from CPS and runs for the alien ship where Jumbaa, Pleakley, and Stitch are

ending is similar, where Lilo uses a her adoption paper to prove she owns Stitch

grand councilwoman content to just rearrest Jumbaa but Pleakley jumps to his defense

Pleakley asserts Jumbaa caught Stitch alone and if Stitch is on planet arrest someone capable of capturing a city-destroyer alone would save manpower and budget in case things go wrong

with an appropriate handler, of course

she relents because the whole thing has been an expensive headache

Jumbaa fixes the house with space tech and properly apologizes to Nani and Lilo

makes it up to Nani by giving her the ability to go anywhere on the planet

ends with Nani able to follow her dreams and be home for Lilo once she’s out of hula class

Better or worse?

Um, the original Lilo and Stitch didn't do that well in the first place

How does that help the situation at all? How does this not in fact make things worse?

a manga where Stitch travels back in time and crashlands in the sengoku era Japan where he joins forces with one of the feudal warlords

California has a lot of good programs because of its own coastal ecosystem (kelp forests are insane)

I would play that if it was a game, Sengoku Stitch with alien bounty hunters sounds like a riot.

way better

This just shows the original has longevity passed its initial box office run
The entire box office right now is because go goodwill towards the original. It’s more popular then when it was in theaters

Iirc it's basically go Florida if you live on the East Coast and California if you live on the west for pretty much 90% of biology/zoology programs unless you're going like, full ivy league.
I think Duke in North Carolina is also a surprisingly good one for a lower-tier Ivy.
Kratt brothers went there.

Okay but let's take a step further back; WHY California over the Uni of Hawaii?? They literally do have a BS degree of marine biology there.

Even if you overlook the familyshit, Nani's ass is not going to a Cali uni for free.

Nuclear anons are the best kind of anons

Japs really do like Stitch aesthetically so much that they will write him into absolutely ludicrous situations and ignore his lore because they just see him as a funny mischief mascot.

I fucking LOVE The Aquarium of the Pacific

to be fair what future the older sister (forgot the name) could bring to Lilo?
In a realistic scenario, in real life, she alone could barely support the two of them, it was only a matter of time before they had an economic crisis and the older sister had no other alternative but to hand over Lilo

The remakes leech off the goodwill and quality of the original movies while being creatively bankrupt and soulless themselves

Thank you anon, we haven't figured this out yet

Oh yeah my sister actually is studying up in Queensland. She got extra points on an assignment to care for fish because she ended up with more than she started with...

It's funny how much they only care about half of the title characters of the movie. I don't even understand why, Lilo wasn't that much a brat in the original movie, outside of beating the shit out of Mertle

Stitch and the Samurai. It's actually pretty great, especially since it explicitly acknowledges that it is separate from the canon timeline, like the anime was originally meant to be.

I like it. Giving Pleakley more to do is a plus, since I always felt like he only existed in the original movie to patch potential plot holes regarding the alien government's efforts to recapture Stitch and act as a comedic foil to Jumba.

I haven't read it, but its an interesting idea. Jumba made Stitch to be an unstoppable engine of destruction, and putting him in actual warn torn setting oddly fits for him and it'd be interesting to see where he goes

I doubt they'd go that hard with the idea, but still

I'm just saying that when arguing box office you have to account for a lot more than which number is bigger. The remake is by all accounts going to be much more successful than the original. It'd be hard for it not to be. OG L&S cost $80 million while the remake cost $100 million, if we adjust for inflation the remake budget is smaller by $42 million. Even a 50% drop in box office next weekend would see the remake beat out the original in total inflation adjusted box office with a better budget to box office ratio. Lilo & Stitch wasn't some massive tentpole, it was just an ordinarily successful film that has over the years established a huge cultural cache. No shit the remake is going to make more money, it's not only trading in on that cultural cache established by the original, it's comparatively cheaper and opening to nominally larger box office market that domestically does not have any competition.

In case you were wondering, adjusted for inflation OG L&S cost $142 million and made $445 Million.

It goes pretty hard at first, but then the warlord gets distracted by Stitch's cuteness and spends the rest of the series trying to tame him. Stitch never seriously injures anybody, it's a comedy first and foremost

If there’s something actually interesting about Pleakley outside of him being a cross dresser it’s that he’s quite a passionate advocate. Him being able to effectively lawyer his way into preventing the council from fucking up Earth is a bit underplayed even in the original film.

It's because they don't like to see dark skinned characters.
That's literally it. Stitch is popular as a cute sellable mascot like in the west, but they can't stand seeing the humans because they are too dark, and these are always unpopular in Japan. That show was in part to try to keep him selling without the drawback of the Hawaiians.
That's also why they are wild over cartoon animals who represent these groups (Jose, Panchito, even Br'er Rabbit) but if these characters were shown as accurate humans with the darker skin they'd have they'd have exactly zero interest in them.

Your mom abandoned you too, didn't she?

aka the characters that appeal to the target audience.

Anon, understand this very plainly and clearly. The attitude that children are fucking retarded and that you only need to jangle keys in front of them is what makes people hate your company and start shipping you letter bombs. Disney forgot that it's important not to torture parents back when Frozen happened. They made a lot of money driving parents totally fucking insane, but there were conceptually redeeming elements to Frozen. I don't know as I've never seen it. When you fully sloppify something and remove any redeeming elements, you set the stage for parents to hate your company and kids to regret their childhoods and for parents to beat their kids, leading to them regretting their childhoods even more.

Feels like executives pushed the college storyline to try and modernize the story. Completely missing the point that skipping college because of familial obligations is something common in lower classes.

It's the noses

college

escaping the cycle of poverty

Today I will purposefully not understand the problem so I can farm cheap (you)s on the basket weaving forum.

Stitch and Nobunaga's Ambition

It works for Jotaro.

It's emotional abandonment. Imagine talking to your friends about families and going "Oh yeah, my last connection to my family after my parent's died? My "Big Sister"? She just handed me off to the neighbor and ran off to Cali to try to make her job work. Didn't even go anywhere, and now she's at three dead end jobs with kids she can barely care for while her deadbeat latino husband smokes weed acting like he's still in his early 20s".

Chat GPT is a boon for shitters that suck at arguing.

It's emotional abandonment.

portal gun. it'd be worse for Lilo's mental health if she had to move for Nani's studies.

I read "Obama means..."

Because hollywood faggots think their california degrees are le best because they don't seem to realize that cali colleges are a laughing stock to 99% of the country, let alone the world, and most people wouldn't even wipe their ass with their degree.

I handle hiring practices for my company, not crazy big but we're big enough to have subdivisons in differing industries. Guideline 8 for the underling fags who do the actual on the ground hiring and processing is that californian degrees are placed below all other applicants in priority and the fun part is this was in place before I even got here and it's not uncommon. I just adjusted it to also put GEDs ahead. Which also isn't uncommon. Outside of California itself and companies based there nobody fucking wants them.

it's literally all holidays except halloween, hence why Nani isn't there.

You don't have to make shit up to point out that Nani leaving Lilo for four years while realistically only seeing each other once a year is probably going to do a number on Lilo's emotional growth unless Nani is careful to remain in constant communication with Lilo and her caretakers.

This is INSANE projection my friend

portal gun.

Disney took to botting comments and audience reviews and under the table paying site administrators to manipulate and selectively curate real reviews awhile back, they usually budget for about a month or 2. They do it to try and dupe people who have learned to be skeptical in order to try and staunch the bleeding and recoup their losses due to the fact that they've been hemorrhaging money for like a decade at this point.

That gutless wonder? Please. He's got less spine than a spina bifida victim.

I fail to see why Lilo would need to stay with the neighbors then as Nani could simply portal in every morning and portal out every afternoon.

Before I realized the movie was on a roller coaster straight into the dumpster (I wanted to give it an honest chance), I kind of liked that line for Nani.
It told me that, despite being Lilo's caretaker, she's still just a kid herself and emotionally immature. She's not handling her parents' death well either, just doing the best she can and trying not to show Lilo that she's hurting too, faking "appearing strong" for the sake of her kid sister but in that moment she cracked because she was overwhelmed and in way over her head.

But then of course I realized there's no possible way the writers could grasp a nuanced batch of youthful emotions like that because they're a bunch of simples who didn't even understand the movie they were rewriting. They probably just watched it in the background while scrolling tiktok. So of course all the line really means is that Nani was mad that they died and stuck her with Lilo and now she can't be off girlbossing as a Marine Biologist.

It's trash it's trash it's trash it's trash it's trash it's trash holy fuck it's trash.

Japanese people fucking hate Hawaiians.

Good luck trying to market NORTH CAROLINA!!!

So like
Did you guys saying that Nani needed to leave Lilo behind even with the portal gun all go to some magical university where you spend 16 hours a day attending classes and have no time for any other activities whatsoever
Because with a portal gun she could just zip to and from her classes which at most wouldn't take up more than six hours on any given day, most days probably significantly less time and spend the rest of that time with Lilo
She could literally hop in and out between classes or during breaks just to check in on her
The portal gun gives her zero reason why she couldn't just continue to live in Hawaii

No one who attends college in California is escaping the cycle of poverty. Student loan debt will ensure she's trapped in it for the rest of her life.

THE PENIS IS EVIL!!!

sure, but Nani could also go to college so she can be a better guardian for Lilo rather than a deadbeat coasting by on "good intentions".

But it's le alien technology, and le alien technology is not allowed even though we're going to let the actual aliens keep living there including the blue alien "dog" that everyone immediately recognizes is not normal and would make national news and out aliens to everyone on Earth within days in the real world but doesn't in this film because reasons.

We even have to hide it from the CIA guy because even though he explicitly knows about aliens and their tech and doesn't work for the supreme guppy in this one, he also enforces their alien technology ban apparently so they have to hide it from even him.

God these writers suck so much.

No see
She uh
She can't
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Nani can go to college and visit home for the holidays without forcing Lilo to move to another state, the portal gun just saves on flight money.

parends

Maybe I'm the retarded one lol
Yeah that's what I was thinking when I was writing that post
In a certain light, it paints Nani as immature and reminds the audience she's 19 when that's easy to forget in the original
But given what I've heard about the rest of the movie, it doesn't feel smart

Because Cali is still the large gleaming bright flame to lure all the dreaming moths that want to rise to Mt. Olympus.

Nani needs to move to California for tuition reasons maybe? I guess? I dunno when you put it like that it does seem pretty fucking stupid. Portal gun kind of renders all distances moot.

Why would Nani need to move, period, when she can just portal gun? She can literally live in Hawaii and portal gun to California. There's nothing in the movie indicating that the portal gun has limited uses or even requires charging time.

When you think about it, shouldn't the portal gun basically be the deus ex machina that allows Nani to continue to live with Lilo? Like it seems like that's the most obvious narrative solution to it. Nani can go to college anywhere on the entire planet and still live in Hawaii with Lilo, it's like an actual divine gift that fulfills all of her wishes.

NOOOO YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH ME FOREVER I WANT TENDIES

I'm curious, exactly why?

she can skip college if she wants to make money and use the portal gun to export and import products, making a killing on transportation. imagine the goods she can move from hawaii to other parts of the world and back.

Portal gun is just a fucking excuse so people don't feel too bad about the idea of Nani leaving Lilo behind.

That doesn't make it better. Do *you* have a portal gun anonymous?

Family sticks together

That's why she's /ourgirl/
If you're a writer, yes.
If you're a simple posing as a writer, you never question your own works or think about the implications of something like that.

Think about how dumb these writers actually are.
In the original, Nami saw Lilo wishing on the shooting star for a friend, and it was her seeing that that caused her to take Lilo to the adoption center where she would meet Stitch. And she named him Stitch right then and there, and the name carried a deep meaning to Lilo. She had to STITCH her only other fucking friend in the world together. So she named him Stitch. It was a simple thing, never directly stated, but it was right there, and everything that happened there was a result of cause and effect.

In the new one, the old lady just randomly decides to take Lilo there "so the movie can happen". Lilo names Stitch because she hears Nami say that word and even though it's just a normal word, with no meaning to Lilo whatsoever, she decides to use it (???).

It's just all so fucking tiresome. I'm not a writer, but I expect the people who have that job to be at least competent at it. This is so fucking embarrassing...

Yeah actually like, doesn't the portal gun kind of make her look fucking retarded in the movie for not realizing this?

the portal gun is a cop out from the writers, like they wanted to make Nani leave Lilo for college but knew audiences wouldn't like that so they introduced a convenient way for her to check on Lilo from time to time

Man Disney's gonna give you a 2 cent raise for that scathing indictment. Thats gonna be in MouseBucks though, not dollars.

Why and how are people still swallowing the "college is the golden ticket" meme?

Ok sure, but then it's a really awful copout because it introduces a scenario that allows them to stay together that they'd have to actively choose not to use because literally the first thing ANYONE would think in this situation would be "HOLY SHIT I CAN GO TO COLLEGE ANYWHERE NOW AND STILL BE TOGETHER WITH MY LITTLE SISTER"

i wonder if they'll add ANOTHER scene afterwards for disney+ to nurf the portal gun so she can only use it once a month or once a week

tfw I’m going to college because my parents are forcing me too

getting a useless linguistics degree because there’s no Arabic degree

probably gonna go back to the Middle East and be an English Arabic teacher, maybe try to get a construction job

If you’re not doing medicine or engineering or lawyer shit, don’t go. It’s a complete waste of time and money

The whole portal gun is bad writing.
On one hand, the only thing that makes this scenario "ok" to audiences is the portal gun allows split second visits to Lilo. Without it Nani would be seen as entirely shitty and shows a real life scenario like this would not be ok as science fiction is what's needed to make it so. The female independence or whatever shit they were going for message hence can't be applied to real life.
At the same time, you're right. Because the portal gun exists there is exactly zero reason Nani needs to put Lilo up for adoption, as she can just teleport from her house to campus. She'd literally only need to be in California for 6 hours max a day for undergraduate and can just go back to take care of Lilo when in between or studying. Even if they are different parts of the day she can just go back and forth. There's no actual reason to spend on room and board if she can just just do this, she's spending more and releasing custody of her sister.
It really breaks the who scenario, because it tries making it "ok" but then makes it more illogical and worse trying to fix things once you think about it

Or

E. Just go get a job, don't be shit at it, and take opportunities for training and certification that can advance your career prospects whenever possible

A college degree has never been essential to get into a decent career path, that was always a lie fed to gen x and millennials by retards, and has only become less true as more and more people fall for it and get useless degrees that devalue having a degree even more to prospective employers.

Retard.

The actual real problem is that a lot of entry-level jobs just require a degree upfront even if they still require a lot of training. Unless you're working as a grocery store clerk or something and even some of those demand degrees now. It's like an arbitrary barrier.

Have fun with your student loan

Because that leads to a drug problem and you dont profit off of a drug problem

If Nani didn't put Lilo up for adoption and went back and forth college and home instead of living on campus she wouldn't be able to get fucked by other girls and guys on campus
Checkmate

A lot of entry level jobs say they require a degree, but in practice you can just apply for them because the people actually doing the hiring don't give a shit and that's just something HR puts on every single job listing because HR personnel are actually braindead fucking faggots with no value who don't have any idea what they're doing but continue to be employed because them and their buddies are the ones who get to set hiring standards. They're the professional world equivalent of congress, they write their own rules so it doesn't matter how stupid and useless they are.

There's realism outside.

Nigga, if you don't have a degree, the AI that is in charge of the resume will simply put you in the bad pile to not look at. No one is looking at resumes anymore.

>B. Live off the wealth someone else left for you, IF YOU'RE LUCKY

They are literally nuking this option in the senate where even the disabled people who have too much to collect disability but still can't work aren't gonna be eligible for medicaid.

Interesting. Just also for curiosity's sake, what would you say about Illinoians?

So here's the thing

FUCKING LIE, RETARD. NOBODY CHECKS, NOBODY CARES.

That's not even remotely true because they literally use fucking bot programs to filter out anything not meeting their entry requirements now. Trust me, I had the misfortune of working with some of the people behind the hiring process at my last job. Maybe very small local companies still do this, but on the whole this hasn't been the case for years.

But if, by random chance, you get someone who does bother to check you out?

To emotionally manipulate the audience before the reveal

Associate's degree in <SUITABLY VAGUE MAJOR THAT'S NOT RELEVANT ENOUGH FOR ANYONE TO BOTHER CONFIRMING BUT NOT SO RETARDED THAT SOMEONE WHO KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT THE POSITION WOULD THROW OUT YOUR APPLICATION BECAUSE THEY SAW IT> from <GENERIC LOCAL COMMUNITY COLLEGE>

wow there you go. Learn to lie dipshit. Put the thing they want to see to check the box but not something so retarded that they go "hold on let me double check that"

Exactly it. So cheap and dishonest.

They ask you for transcripts retard. You're pulling the equivalent of "just walk in and shake the manager's hand" right now.

Or as the court requires.

NOOOOO, MY RESUME WASN'T COMPLETE DOGSHIT THAT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS WRITTEN BY A 12 YEAR OLD, I WAS JUST IGNORED CAUSE THE BOTS, IF ONLY I HAD WASTED HALF A MILLION DOLLARS AND 4-6 YEARS GETTING A DEGREE THAT WILL MAKE ME NO BETTER AT THE JOB I'M APPLYING FOR

Retarded niggers making excuses, people who actually work in real world professions will all tell you that the people who care about whether you've got a degree or not aren't the ones doing interviews. Just fucking lie. They won't check, but you also won't get hired because you're fucking stupid.

Have literally never applied to a job where they asked for transcripts.

Literally outright stated that I worked with the people involved in hiring at my last job (we didn't have a true HR department) but sure.

thinking marine biologists are highly paid

lol
lmao

Sounds like a retarded company, apply somewhere else. I've applied to tons of places and never once have I had anyone check references for degrees or ask for transcripts. If you have skills that the employer wants, that's generally all they care about. Include anything on your resume that would actually support your claim of having said skills, and that's all they'll care about. If the people doing the hiring actually bother to look up where you got your useless piece of paper from community college in a slightly-maybe-related major, then that's a shit company to work for and you're better off being rejected.

Lower half of the pack technically but middle road enough that I don't super care. If it's a school that still teaches the Chicago school of economics legitimately though I put it on a list of preferred colleges but I'll admit keeping up on that and curating it is a pain and I try to save it for the like singular good schools in dogshit states or countries.

Pfft, as if there's any real schools in Hawaii beyond surfing, scuba diving and hula hula dancing! They're just a resort, why would you be able to get a marine biology degree there???

Well I agree with you there lmao, there's a reason I don't work there anymore and it's not because I was fired. Work for a way more reasonable place now.

But enough about your boring lives and jobs and your useless personal anecdotes, let's discuss the shitty film.

Pretty sure its mutual. I think the kona national airports roadway has weekly crashes from Japanese tourists who come over, claim they can drive and wreck the car getting out of the airport.

Literally just use your connections to get in the door at ANY job, now you have employment history and you can apply anywhere as long as it's not a job where you actually do need to have a degree (doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc.).

but I don't know LITERALLY ANYBODY with a job who could give me a referral to their company

Damn that's crazy, have you tried not being an autistic shut-in?

Just go get a job

I can't fucking get one

But there's nothing to discuss. The fact that the writers are retards who think

and then she went to college and lived happily ever after

is good writing is the only noteworthy thing about this piece of shit

outside of beating the shit out of Mertle

That shit was justified. Mertle was being a bitch and almost got away with it by only doing it when a grownup wasn't watching. You need to go physical with that kind of bully or they'll just keep it up forever.

Damn that's crazy, have you tried having any useful skills?

escape the cycle of poverty

Go to a California college.

Getting physical with that kind of bully causes them to go full crybully these days. The schools basically cracked down on lunchroom brawls and not the shit that causes them.

But who would be looking after Lilo for the hours where she's attending classes? It's not like they've got a new found family with three aliens living at the house and the MIB being able to square everything with the government so they won't come around to inspect the house every week!

Americans need to be shot

Unless I'm forgetting something really wild, Myrtle's bullying was extremely mild teasing at best. The fact that Lilo was so quick to attack her physically was meant to demonstrate the fact that she was not in a stable emotional state thanks to all the shit she had going on.

shut up

I haven't seen it since I was a kid but the way I remember it there was the implication that Mertle was the queen bee bully that was freezing Lilo out and causing her to be more of an outcast than she had to be, and what we saw was just Lilo finally losing her cool.

yes, Lilo was a little goblin. which is why stitch and her connected so well

That doesn't matter. All that matters is that Nani gets health insurance. Babysitters don't exist and health insurance, the great American savior, will fix all their problems.

Ruins the original ending by separating Lilo and Nani.

Ruins their own "realistic" ending with the magic portal gun where they could of just did a damn online college. From fucking space even.

not using your government and alien contacts to get you a local education and then job looking for aliens hiding at the bottom of the sea

modern hollywood liberal retard writers want to include some retarded plot about Nani wanting to go off to college so she can be a properly college educated liberal, the most important thing in life, but they're too retarded to imagine life outside of their own west coast bubble so rather than doing any kind of research about their setting and writing in something that would make perfect sense in their invented scenario, they instead have the character abandon her sister she spent the whole movie trying to stay together with so she can go off to the wonderful state of california, the only place that matters

kino

change movie's core message for worse

immediately backpedaled it 'cause having stakes is le bad

Even at sucking this movie sucks.

marine biologist

i feel they choose this career for Nani just 'cause Hawaii, but then they ignored Hawaii has some of the best Marine Biology programs you could get into, making moving away actually a counterproductive move, yet they still went with the idea of Nani moving away. Again, this whole issue is God damn stupid...

Yeah that sounds accurate to me, but again that's more of an illustration of how isolated and lonely Lilo was than of how bad of a bully Myrtle was. Not saying she wasn't a bitch, but she was a pretty tame bitch for how bad kids can get. Just so happened that the target of her bitchery was in a really bad situation that made it that much worse, which is shitty but not really her fault so to speak. You're meant to understand why Lilo did it, but you don't have to call it justified to do that.

they then realize how stupid this is because it directly goes against the movie's message of ohana that they give her a portal gun, so that it's not so bad

they could of just did a damn online college.

Does the movie take place in the current day? I've assumed it does but you just made me realise that they could also have "fixed" some of the problem by having it take place in the past, when online colleges and high speed internet just weren't a thing yet so it's either let your extended family (in this case the boyfriend's grandma instead of the newly found alien family) take care of your sister while you get an education or be stuck without one.

In the modern day she should obviously be able to get into a marine biology program in Hawaii and get a specialised study plan that allows her to do most of the work remotely so she only has to get a babysitter for certain days to do tests or whatever in the town a couple of hours away.

just 'cause Hawaii, but then they ignored Hawaii has some of the best Marine Biology programs you could get into

Anon, you can't just expect the writers to know literally anything about the thing they're writing about, be reasonable.

Luigi & Stitch sequel movie when?

it's modern times, everyone is using modern cellphones

Couldn't they at least have written it so she stayed in Hawaii and studied marine biology there? Why move to california?

Written by Californians

It's even dumber when you remember that in the original movie Nani's passion is surfing. She's got a ton of awards for it and could have gone pro if she didn't have to take care of Lilo, because surf tournaments requires you to travel. Surfing is also a young person's game so Nani would rightfully feel stressed about wasting her prime surfing years and probably giving up any chance of becoming a renowned champion.
Her getting trusted babysitters to look after Lilo and so she can start to enter surf competition again and win money to pay their bills would have been a sweet ending! But instead they changed her passion to marine biology, because god forbid a woman dreams of being good at a sport instead of science.

Because it's written by people who think California is the center of the whole universe. LA Might as well be Rome.

A school that teaches marine biology? In Hawaii? Anon, that's insane.

You know them Hawaiians. Not as enlightened as we Californians.

you can't just expect the writers to know literally anything about the thing they're writing about

Quite the opposite, you NEED to know as much as possible about what are you writing about, do research and- oh wait, this is Commiefornia writers, they don't do research, it goes against their principles...

Like the ancient Hawaiians always said, "Ohana means abandon your family, move to California, and go into an insane amount of student debt for literally no reason."

Also San Diego has a huge Hawaiian population, so she'll be able to bond over their mutual culture! Where else could she possibly get that experience?

I got hired for entry level admin work at a private engineering firm/defense contractor and lied on my application about my AS degree. They did contact the school, school said "nope", got hired anyway. New boss never said anything about it in the years I worked there

Uh, researching things is STUPID. It's not like the audience is going to know anything about it either, so why should I? Anyway, we're doing Hercules next. I've never seen the animated one, but like, who cares. It's about like, a Spartan or something right? I'll probably put it on while I jazzercise. I listened to the soundtrack earlier though, ugh, yeah, we're not doing that. Having Meg sing about her guy hang-ups is sexist. I think I'll make her a Spartan too so she can fight alongside Hercules, maybe embarrass him a little even.

Ojana significa chúpame el pico Lilo culia' me voy pa' California.

You joke, but it's already confirmed Meg's new song will be her 'red flags' list.

what? it's not gonna be "I Won't Say (I'm In Love)"?

No.

Should have just spread those cheeks for tourists looking to drain their balls in the natives.

Who's joking? New Meg's going to be a fucking GIRLBOSS. We're actually going to have her be the one to rescue Hercules, even.
At the end of the movie she'll be the one to dive in after Hercules and save his soul, and she'll be rewarded with godhood instead of him, showering the audience in her golden glow. Meanwhile she'll keep Herc around, as kind of like a cute pet I guess? But she'll never actually say she loves him or anything, that's weak and anti-feminist. Also I'm thinking about giving her Zeus's job. Like, at the end of the movie the other gods fire Zeus and give her his job. I think that would be a better message for young girls.

why am i even surprised. it's one of my favorite song from disney.

Is this confirmed or are you making shit up and getting mad at it again?

Every fucking single time, there are several good ways to change a movie, but these Disney live actions always choose the most retarded one, the one so pandering and condescending it feels like intentionally retarded for the most stupid ass audiences. And probably it is. Make your MC a girlboss even if it goes against all logic, who needs logic when you're getting validated by an empowered woman who needs no one, no family, no friends. 'Cause values mean nothing now, you need to piss in the world.

i want Disney to go bankrupt so bad, but mindless fags keep giving them money to barely keep Disney functional to produce even more slop...

At least i can still watch the original Lilo & Stitch, but searching it now just give the live action and force you to dig a bit. Even that's annoying. Fuck Disney, and fuck you all.

is this confirmed

Are you woefully retarded and cannot glean a very obvious sarcastic tone in this post?

Jotaro also has a really shitty relationship with his daughter.

Surfing isn't a 'respectable' profession for women.
It's like those Barbie dolls. "Marine biologist Barbie".

I'm taking the piss, settle down.

Disney doesn't give a shit what you think about their movie.

nani is chell?!

Aren't Hawaiians really into surfing? Like it's culturally and historically important? This is California thumbing their nose at other cultures again, isn't it.

This is California thumbing their nose at other cultures again, isn't it.

Always is.

Oh, they don't? Fuck. I thought they were reading all these posts and feeling real bad about their piles of money. Shit, anon, you really put things in perspective. Guess I'll just never voice any of my opinions again since the only point in discussing anything is in hopes that an executive might read it.

I don't follow this retarded shit, did they keep the "too white" Nani actress to appease the insane retards, or did they recast her?

friendly reminder that Nani's actress isn't even Hawaiian, so what we've got is a White/Philippine lady indoctrinating Hawaiians to care more about a mainland degree than their family

wow I can't believe this movie had so many stereotypes about Hawaiians, better remove those in the interest of cultural sensitivity

she's not Asian, she's Asian

?????

nta but flips aren't asian, they're mutts of the highest order

All Asians are the same shit, as us Californians(TM) all know.

Racist much?

They'll give a shit once we march them to the guillotine.

Native Hawaiians also aren't asian for what it's worth, but still the point is Hawaiian and Filipino Heinz 57 are very different.

Not that I care one way or the other as long as whoever they cast fits the part, but also nothing about this film was a good idea to begin with.

thinking flips are anywhere near as high caste as hawaiians

thinking the mutt made from a flip dad and white realtor mom is a good casting for one of the most prominent hawaiian characters disney has

I honestly don't think Disney is very far from bankruptcy or being in the same position Warner Bros is in. I honestly don't see Disney making it halfway past the 2030's
Oh won't someone think about the optics!

They don't until the poor quality prevents any planned spinoff of this to succeed
They left a billion on the table for Lion King 2 because the first live action burned off goodwill of the IP

Lilo and Nani don't even look like siblings because of it.

As the ancient Hawaiians said...

*Proceeds to rip open Nanis chest and fuck her still beating heart*

Who's joking? New Meg's going to be a fucking GIRLBOSS

Meg was part of an archetype that was literally just superior proto girlboss. She was based on a 60s/70s comedy genre called "screwball rom coms" which often featured a hyper competent sarcastic woman dragging along some hapless average lovestruck joe into whatever shenanigans she was involved in. This genre often being viewed as being created in response to the women's empowerment movement and the rise of women in the workplace.
BTAS era Harley Quinn was also partially based on this genre but moreso in her dialect than anything else.

yeah, i was wondering why nani was hispanic looking with lilo was Hawaiian

Chudbros…..we lost again

Who can forget the seminal work of Madonna with an animated intro, called Who's That Girl? A true peak of the archetype, along with Desperately Seeking Susan.
youtube.com/watch?v=5pCD2Nwk9bM

Who is the hapless average lovestruck Joe Meg was dragging along? At what point did she actually do anything in the film besides play damsel in distress (despite claiming not being a damsel in distress)? I must have missed those parts of the film. She starts off enslaved to Hades, doing HIS bidding (not her own) because she simped for the last guy that dumped her sorry ass, fails to girlboss her way out of a dangerous situation and gets rescued by Herc, then falls for Herc and simps so hard she's willing to die for him, and then he later saves her eternal soul from Hades and proceeds to convert her into a tradwife.

99% of college degrees are worthless, trade schools are where the money is at

Yeah, it was always clear to me even as a kid how woke Hercules was, especially with the character of Meg.

Trade schools are worthless too. It's the same meme that college was.

I went to college, give me a job!

no, you need experience and certifications and...

I went to trade school, give me a job!

no, you need apprenticeships and certifications and...

Nobody is prepared for the real world anymore, they think education fixes everything when in reality they should have been working at age 15.

A lot of these people aren't even "unable to find a job". They just will not take a job that pays like shit, because they think they deserve so much more money because of their "education".

and trade jobs suck AND make very little pay
never become a carpenter, go for the easier ones like plumbing or electrician

Anon. The writers explicitly said Megara was based on Screwball romantic comedy actresses. She's quick witted and constantly has a general snarky demeanor. Remember that "Wonder boy" starts off as a demeaning nickname but becomes a more endearing one as the film goes on, nicknames like that were extremely common to the genre.
She's simping by the end and he's simping for her the moment he sees her.
Then her whole arc was a pretty typical trope of the genre, "He's just another guy whose gonna break my heart somehow so I'm gonna try to break his first when I'm done using him. What the hell, am I actually in love with this idiot? What the hell, is he actually in love with me? Is it genuine this time?" was common as hell for these kinds of romances because part of the focus of the genre was this idea of skipping the schmultzier stuff in rom-coms to focus on the "battle of the sexes" you'd see in a lot of actual couples.
The movie itself wasn't a screwball romance but she was definitely based on the women within those films.

when in reality they should have been working at age 15.

It was still your basic damsel in distress story though? She had more personality than princess peach so that makes it woke?

Sure, in the 90s, the no-nonsense, quick-witted girlbosses were normal, but they were still feminine and still were damsels when needed to be.

They will absolutely not do that in the modern era. They will keep the girlboss personality, but lose the rest.

She may have been based on them, but what I'm saying is that other than her (contradictory) dialogue she doesn't resemble that type of character at all, she's actually just a damsel in distress at the end of the day and all that attitude goes out the window once she caves to Herc as you yourself noted.

And when Disney rewrites- ahem, I mean "remakes" the film, they will probably have her keep that initial personality throughout with the added bonus of backing it up. She'll take down Nessus herself after he knocks out Herc. She'll somehow save herself from Hades. She won't have much if any regard for Herc. She'll be remade for today's audience.

Does Spongebob exist in the Lilo and Stitch universe

Nani goes to college

becomes Marine Biologist

invents Stitchbob Elvispants

Lilo and Nani now live in a mansion of solid gold eating salads made of 100 dollar bills

The only reason I'm a half decent human being is that my family never gave up on me and that means I'm never giving up on them either, Family is the greatest gift as precious as the gift of life itself.

Fucking lizards man, they just don't get it.

See, the thing you're misunderstanding is that the screwball probably would have knocked a character like Nessus out by acting seductive and playful just long enough to find something to clonk him in the back of the head.
The personality doesn't really work well with a combat girl boss but worked fine for Megara who did do things like going behind Hades back and coming to Herc's aide where she could.
It was a social kind of "girlboss" who knew how to psychologically "bite" more than anything.
I don't think they'd need to change that.
I think what would be more likely if they kept to the trope is that once Herc knocks Nessus down, as soon as he leaves, Meg goes up to Nessus and starts getting on his case for his "awful acting".
Or doing something like emasculating Hades even while in captivity by pointing out he's defined by an inferiority complex to his brother.
Those are the kinds of things that mostly make up the stuff which she was based on in the original movie and I feel like they'd hold up fine with a modern audience

There actually is only one Nani plushie.

Trade school is also where you have to go to chiropractor because you fucked up your body and are limping by age 40

this is 2025, onlyfans is literally the number 1 "job" among american women, overtaking schoolteachers and nurses (hell, many of the latter also do OF on the side).

You're not wrong, but you're affording their writers and marketing team far too much faith.

Meg was part of an archetype that was literally just superior proto girlboss.

Yeah, and they're gonna make her the awful current girlboss, keep up.

Now that's cute

Lol this movie is tone death in so many ways. The college story when so many people are opting out of college and thousands more are drowning in debt hole at 30 because they were never able to find a job in their field of study.
On top of Marine Biology already being a meme degree, she's literally leaving the one place Marine Biologists want to relocate too because that's were most of the research is being done, because of course Hollywood fags can't imagine a story where the characters don't worship their shithole of a state.

That's how I fucked up my back in my late teens, putting my whole life on another path because the constant backpain made me depressed and made me isolate myself from my friends and lose contact with them. The trade school I went to had the genius idea of having you try out different things and the first thing I tried out was bricklaying. Which meant hauling sacks of cement and bricks a month before they actually did the lesson in how much to carry at once and how to pick up and carry heavy loads without fucking your back up. Then, because of the back pain from lifting far too heavy loads since I was a typical teenage boy who didn't want to carry measly loads, I did that thing where you cross your arms and someone cracks your back. Which made me herniate a disk or some shit up by my shoulder blades, giving me YEARS of daily pain and then some more years of it coming back if I overtaxed my back. I still feel it click or pop sometimes when I take a deep breath in bed and it scares me every time because I don't want that nerve pain that radiates out into your arm to come back.

Fuck that trade school in particular for not starting with the basics and fuck bonecracking.

HERE'S TO ANOTHER FUCKING DECADE OF LIVE ACTION!

CHEERS, EVERYONE! CHEERS!

How is getting student loan debt escaping the cycle of poverty?

They only have IPs with whitey in it, so they will fuck it up and have them bomb.

Cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks.

Imagine if 1990s to mid 2000s Disney saw Modern Disney. Completely soulless.

rule of thumb is, once people are talking about how some career path is the "right one" that's sure to make you loads of money, it's already too late. You will never get rich, or even be well-off, doing something millions of other people are already doing. Think of how much money there is in that field, and divide it by the number of people with the exact same idea as you. Do you think there's enough in there for everybody to buy a house? Raise a family?

Also fun fact, there's no such thing as starting your own plumbing or electrician practice anymore. They all sold out to asset management firms decades ago, and so it's just as corporatized as everything else. Great for the people who cashed out, bad for anyone going in.

Someone should hack the site and unveil whether they did take Disney money to bot reviews

So many soulless corporate golems defending a family splitting up.

Is it true that Leroy makes a cameo in this film?

I think they're trying to get at that Nani feels that Lilo is in good hands with Stitch and the aliens that she can finally pursue her passions without feeling like she's abandoning her sister.

Off-topic, but I'm kinda annoyed that Cobra Bubbles wasn't present for the final picture in the series finale.

On top of Marine Biology already being a meme degree

Hey it was good for Stephen hillenburg

wtf is wrong with asian women?

It's amazing how many people here are so quick to defend this movie's absolute dogshit decisions just to "own the OP" or something.
Like there's no way you can spin this decision as a good thing, it makes me think that all the people talking about "paid Disney shills" are actually right.

Nigga, 90% of the thread is shitting on it. The rest are trolling.

Ohana means abandoning your sibling

Frozen did it better.

You don't need shills when there's a very loud minority on Anon Babble that has a terminal case of contrarianism. There's so many things about Anon Babble that comes down to that simple fact.

Pretty much, the portal gun is clearly a panic button. It's them having their cake and eating it too. It's "a wizard did it"

They present an issue that requires a hard choice with emotional weight, but then they avoid needing to commit to a choice by granting the characters a magic spell. There's no catharsis to this new plotline, making its inclusion pointless.

Hillenburg had to pivot to cartoons
That's how worthless marine biologoy is

american education

Why do amerisharts worship college so much?

Funny thing is that isn't American but Anti-Americans are proving themselves uneducated yet again by trying to force that point.

Abandoning? She has a teleporter

Closer to a woman's natural state on average of being feminine, cute, and only really equipped to deal with feminine domestic responsibilities like pleasing husbands and caring for children, resulting in them behaving more childishly and saccharine when they lack those as both a time killer and an advertisement for their feminine value.

Put it in this context, marry that girl and she's going to have plenty of free time to care for the kids, has confidence and attention to detail when it comes to interests and goals, and will probably be able to successfully understand your child's interests and what's needed for their development and won't be afraid to push for it even if it might backfire on her, as seen when you unpack the decision logic behind producing that video.

Compare to American women who are largely bitchy and hostile in their free time or have a poor life/hobby balance as seen by how most with this behavior will be in poor physical health. Fat, ugly, etc.

In this logic, e-thots are also basically urbanized feral women attempting to reset to factory settings but are improperly socialized. Or are a mimicry off shoot for ecologically advantageous purposes.

Hey, it got them to mention the portal gun which they got completely blown the fuck out on. So that's something.

This is somehow the most hateful thing perpetrated by nu-Disney.

Ironic since most of Americans debt is College or medical related.

Their ending is literally that hard choice being chosen, and you can tell that there was no portal gun concept here, as Nani and Lilo are saying their tearful goodbyes, implying they won't see each other for many years.

The portal gun was clearly an executive watching the cut and being like, "no, this is not what fucking ohana is, we need to fix this" and the portal gun was the only way to do it without reshooting the climax.

he didn’t study dentistry

Ngmi

They are right

Might consider a bank job then if it’s not too saturated now

getting a useless linguistics degree because there’s no Arabic degree

Did your parents pick what degree to get or did you?

I believe the term is Polynesian right?

People don't want to work for shit pay

This shocks anon

not exactly, you can do your apprenticeship by contacting the local union and you can simply become a retrofitter rather than a full blown plumber or electrician. You'll make just as much money if not more doing easier work. You can charge $300 just for strapping a water heater and you can do 5 of those in a day.

I did since at first I thought there might be something good in it (science of language or whatever) but it’s a nothing burger. Nothing else interested me

Arabic literature didn't interest you?

no you're actually in a really good spot, they're hiring linguistics majors to help train AI models to make them sound more natural and to help with AI translation software. Especially real time AI audio translation, they need linguistics guys to help with regional accents.

I wouldn't call it useless or a nothing burger but it's not easy to get your foot in that field

Walt would be shambling out of this grave to strangle EVERYBODY.

What is their justification for this in-movie?

why do you need justification for something that's morally correct?

try to find a credit union to work for, they're more laid back than the big name ones

Based, if your relatives aren't going to get you money then throw them away

This. There's no reason even other than to just be upsetting because it garners a reaction. No scruples, no sense. Just pure autism.

Door breaks open

Pic Rel

Fuck everyone, we're rich, we can do whatever we want and you suckers will ALWAYS come because it has the mark of the mouse on it.

lmao, I hope nobody actually takes career advice from Anon Babble.

This movie is pure rage bait. It is an actual feat to make even the smallest of change yet still come out showing you are incompetent and missed the point of the original.

Nah there's others.

Jumba just being the villain

No Cobra or Gantu

Ohana being a joke

fart jokes

But this is just the succulent cherry on top that crowns and sums up why everyone hates live action disney era.

None of these will be enough for the general audience to care, hence why the movie will make a billion anyway.

why should Nani quit studying if the neighbors can just babysit Lilo just fine? wasn't that the reason why jumba and pleakley were around in the original?

Stitch is an incredibly fun and marketable character and it's insane to me that they never made him bigger than he was at the time. He's just about as close to perfect as you can get he checks every single box.

I'm pretty sure that was their thinking making this, the story doesn't matter it's the Stitch toys they want to make bank with.

Again, they didn’t really offer any Arabic classes for some reason.
Well that’s a bit comforting to know. I guess when I go back to Saudi Arabia I’ll look more into that. I’m just lucky my parents are supportive and I also improved my skills in drawing as a hobby, since my college experience so far really sucks, in the social aspect especially

Another point in the long list of why normalfag opinions are fucking worthless.

I'd watch that movie

That's why when Disney fucks up hard like with Snow White, they fuck up in a way where even the GA raises an eyebrow.

Disney making a billion dollars on any project is easy and should be no effort on their part, but they deliberately do things that even antagonize the normies.

Look for AI startups at with angel funding.

btw if you ever don't wanna go back to Saudi Arabia you'll never guess who's paying out the ass for translators especially those that know regional dialects. It starts with US and ends with Military.

foreign role given to an actor of the same race

"GIVE THE ROLE TO THE ACTOR WHO DESERVES IT, NOT BECAUSE OF THEIR SKIN!"

foreign role given to an actor of a different race; most likely a caucasian

"WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE THE ROLE TO AN ACTOR OF THE SAME RACE? THIS IS SO UNREALISTIC! NOT TO MENTION RACIST!"
And you all wonder why today's writers have turned to leftism and told us all to pound sand.

Disney writer (modern): Haha, there was no reason for anything in the original! It was just a wacky, zany kids' movie full of fun characters and pew pew! I think anyway, I never watched it, I just read the wiki and looked at some screenshots online.

jotaro had the entire speedwagon foundation behind him because fuck vampires

I'm pretty sure they only got one message from the movie and that was Nani needs a job and that's their whole reason for writing the movie the way they did.

Student loan debt

What is this fucking meme? Does no one know about FAFSA? I went through college and never needed to take out a loan.

I fucking hate normies with a flaming passion

FAFSA has a parental income clause

woah son, that's too many words to put in someone's mouth at once.

Don't worry, this generic dead end probably already popped off his micro dick in exchange for a gaping axe wound and a pair of silicone tits.

shills are desperately trying to make this a race/politics issue now

Holy shit, the optics of this movie must be fucking DIRE if they have to damage control like this. I'm going on a limb here and guess those second week earnings are going to drop off a cliff from how poor the WoM has been.

I was privileged, so everyone else must be too!

everyone in the world is eligible for FAFSA, why aren't they using it???

I'm very intelligent

actual best university for marine biology is in NC)

Not surprising honestly, they've got a fuckload of important beachfront and capes as well as being located just right so they can go deal with tropical or temperate biomes in a short amount of time

People actually went to college without parents paying for it

NGMI

He's basically a pokemon

when I was in high school they just kept pushing FAFSA and scholarships on us
student loans never came up
and I went to a school that was 65% poor blacks and hispanics

Thank you for confirming my point.
I can tell your higher education has done wonders.
What a great investment for the taxpayers.

This,

I wish I can make millions just by copy pasting a script and tweaking it a bit.

All remakes should be punishable by law.

Because she already gave up guardianship of Lilo to pay off her medical bills.

which is wrong since lilo should already be covered under Medicaid, so this shit was forced as fuck

This is the universe where Trump and DOGE cut medicaid because it helps brown people

Marcel the Shell with Shoes on guy made this movie

academy award winning director of Moonlight made Mufasa

I have to wonder whether these directors come in thinking they can be the ones to make the elusive and coveted "good Disney live-action remake" or if they all have the same attitude that Taika Waititi had for Love and Thunder.

the entire idea of her needing a high paying job is laughable to start with when she's got a world conquering bioweapon and his alien designer living under her roof and a CIA spook actively monitoring it; she'd be getting a government stipend before the week is out just to keep the fuckers under her roof. any job should be about her passion which is surfing that can more than easily fit into her life where she does tournaments and shit a couple weeks a year but spends most of the time with her family

Believing the cooked numbers

Are you badmouthing hecking sex work?

Also helps they literally pulled a Kangaroo Jack with the marketing. I just don't see how this movie survives past the weekend now that they fleeced the Disney Adult's(tm) out of their money and the word's out about what they did to the film.

Yes the sole heir (Josuke will get like 2% of it at max thanks to Suzie Q) of a multi billionaire real estate mogul needs a job. Anon, his situation and Nani's are world's apart.

Better than shipping that money overseas, and then it being given to weapon contractors, who we know are building 90s China production quality bombs and military craft.
I'd rather Jerome get laid silly for 4 years off taxpayers than giving my money to Israel, so they can keep up these degenerate military contractors rich and making the rest of the planet wish us violent death.

i'd rather neither

Bothn't. Bothn't is good.

Because you never applied for a job at all, dipshit.

Yep, these shills love pretending like reputation isn't a thing. Disney's PR has taken some brutal blows from how consistently bad these movies are, and it shows with the massive dropoff in revenue since 2019. Even Mufasa, the prequel to one of the highest grossing films of ALL TIME, couldn't even make HALF of what the first movie did.

And with Stitch, you can only really do something like this once. They effectively burned any chance of squeezing money from this franchise past the opening weekend.

She ain't a damn chick fil a sauce anon

Well congratulation retard, now you're unemployed and mad about it. Sure showed them

Damn, and people say that Disney isn't forward thinking!

Weird how I'm employed and own my house then. Wonder how that happened.

Anon these "directors" are practically putting their name of the box to sell a veneer of credibility. They have little to no control over the product otherwise. The director of LA L&S even said as much, with him trying to incoporate elements like Pleakley crossdressing only to get shut down.

These films are controlled entirely by corporate higher ups. the bean counters and business idiots have been calling the shots since Wreck-It Ralph 2, and it shows.

That's great, but the general audience won't keep Disney alive. Even if the movie makes 5 billion dollars, it isn't enough to keep Disney alive because they're perpetually hemorrhaging. The mismanagement of IP gets them small sums, but ultimately everything becomes unmarketable garbage. IPs quickly wear out if their spark is squandered.