The Amazing Spider-Man #1 Spoilers

I was wrong they are more spoilers here you go mates.

UHHH POLISH PAULBROS??? WHAT IS THIS????

And for those of you wondering about what MJ and paul are up to well here you go.

Well I guess this rules out MJ breaking up with paul despite the fact that MJ is Venom now.

Why the fuck is this dude still in contact with MJ? Where are his balls?

That would a little bit like Hush because the mastermind of all that story was actually the Riddler, Hush was basically a pawn.

Why the fuck is this dude still in comics at all?

Reminder to always cut contact with your exes. Never be their friend afterwards.

Evil CEO best friend

Hey, that was Harry's job!

Then he shouldn't have died.

I wonder why even include them in the comic but I understand it, it's like Lucy with the football but the readers are Charlie Brown.

Shay takes a different cock every night after she tells Pete she's going to bed. That's what any woman who jokes about not being exclusive does.

It evens out because Peter doesn't actually care about her beyond the abstract and is just going through the motions.

because wells is livid that MJ and Paul now belongs to t he venom editorial, and said editorial is no longer part of the spider editorial

It's coming to the point where the Marvel universe is going to go directly to Mephisto to fix Spidey's shit.

They won't since that would mean bringing back the marriage and brevoort will not allow that to happen as long as he is in charge.

There's a Venom editorial now? How has this character become this successful?

The movies were enough for that, they are no more a sub-branch of the spider editorial.

why the fuck are they still keeping Paul around? Outside of Nick Lowe's nightly masturbation fantasies, not a single human being gives a shit about him and openly hates him. Even fucking normies who have never picked up a comic know he's a worthless character.

Gwenschizoid need not reply.

Anger and controversy is the only way they know how to keep readers interested. The comic is basically just rage bait at this point.

Spider editorial and mandate per brevoort manifesto

readers aren't interested though. sales are in the gutter.

be Spider-MAN

never allowed to be a grown MAN

It's fucking comical at this point, the same rage cycle for sales for almost 20 years. They have NO sauce left.

True but they literally don't have any other ideas. They'll go down with the ship

rejected because hes white

just like real life

They think sounding smarmy makes them sophisticated
The arts good, he's just such an exciting costumed superhero/battle set piece type artist that it's a bit of a waste to use him on a book with so many civvies maybe

How cute. But Paul's killcount is bigger.

editorial is full of incompetent, spiteful retards who know they're untouchable because disney doesn't give a single shit about the actual comics outside of having them exist so they can sell them as trendy nerd gear and control a majority of the market

Tom Brevoort gets off every time he says a twitter post complaining about Paul.

Why are american comics so goddamn cucked

Because the writers are unironic cuckold fetishists.

More like Bendis wishes he was born black and he rapes his black kids, on which there are proofs of it.

Gwenschizoid has this much to say be on the look for a very much alive Gwen Stacy back from the dead as Gwenpool. she is coming for you norman SNIKT you don't stand a chance really given she is a mutie. Muties come back from the dead humans don't

Gwenschizo, the guy who made this thread.

Rand Corporation

You'd think Peter would have heard through the grapevine that they're up there with Roxxon.

This art sucks

Superheroes would should know better use Roxxon-owned products all the time. Just part of the natural corpo dystopia look.

Paul gets shit on in the Venom comics

Readers rejoice

But also forget that Paul is still an ASM character first and any issues he'd be having in the Venom comics are more or less non-canon

Paul isn't going anywhere, he's the perfect excuse to keep Peter's love life with MJ in shambles. The Editorials who hate Peter having a love life with her would be idiots to not keep Paul around no matter what's going on in another canon story arc with him involved. The obvious conclusion to his story after years of being the most hated character in Spider-Man would be for him to become a Villain who gets fridged and they're going to drag this out before we ever get that potential ending

MJ is going to break up with Paul, then manage to separate from the symbiote, then become a supporting character to the new host and not appear in ASM for the foreseeable future.

Lmao what a cheap way to sweep the cheating under the rug

Just few things to clarify:

1. This isn't ASM, this is the free comic book day FF issue.

2. This issue is pre-issue 5 of All-New Venom, I think this takes place right after ASM #70.

3. Chip is a fan of Paul and a big defender of Wells, so he would obviously include him to piss on people.

Also, eh, I don't Imagine they would include All-New Venom spoilers in a random issue.

It's fine. Until Peter gets one of Shay's family members killed he can do whatever.

I still feel like people always make too big a deal about Peter's job situation. I know Parker luck but that doesn't mean the universe hates him. It's just him giving up personal happiness for the greater good. See in my mind the best way to go about it is

Peter is swinging through the city on his way to a interview. He stops to fight a criminal or villain but in doing so learns of something bigger go on that requires his immediate attention. He goes through the super hero story, looks at the time and curses that he missed his interview. But then as luck would have it he gets home and there's a message that the interviewer was always delayed and asked if he can come again tomorrow or he has another better offer waiting.

Parker Luck is a pendulum not a guillotine.

That is how it should be, but isn't how it is written now.

Almost 15 years

Okay, I know time scales are fucky and all in comics, but this is why Marvel needs to stop using exact lengths of time. You're 10-11 starting middle school, and 13-14 getting out. On the low end, this means Peter could be 25, on the high end, 29.

I hate to bring things back to Paul, but we're at the point where the audience has to be under the impression that MJ's been with him as long as she was with Peter, in-universe.

Peter started dating MJ his junior year of college, so around 20

At some point they break up due to Mephisto shit

But we need to fit in dating Carlie Cooper, Horizon Labs, Parker Industries, Peter's time lost as Otto... this has to be at least 2-3 years?

Then back together for a bit in Spencer's run

So what, aggregate let's say 5 years? 4 years the first time around and one year of dating during Spencer? If Pete's ~28, working backwards we have:

Felicia dumped Pete and in Jackpot & Black Cat, has been in love with a new woman (Amelia) for 5 months

However long she and Peter dated (at least a few months)

Canon 6 month time skip before that

MJ's been dating Paul for 4 years in the Wayeb dimension

So it's at least been a year and a half since Peter lost MJ, presumably around age 26. That puts MJ with Paul for about six years. Really, the most MJ and Pete could have been together is 4-5 combined. I know ten years from now the sliding timescale will make this all seem like it was a couple of months, but right now it appears she's been dating Paul longer than Peter.

Also I should clarify after writing all that, I'm not the Gwenschizo and I can't stand Paul. Not defending him at all. Just pointing out the stupid dumb shit editorial and writers have backed themselves into with this.

Everyone's lives are rewritten constantly and have more things happen in a timeframe than make sense. If you stare at it directly, you will go mad.

He didn't cheat. She broke up with him and then came back in the final issue for reasons that don't really make any sense, but they want her around for some reason.

I wouldn't worry much, Marvel tends to soft reboot weird timeskips like this later on.

If Marvel was really committed to MJ and Paul being a thing, they wouldn't have allowed these inconsistencies. Like, just a reminder that they backtracked on the implication that MJ and Paul are married and later on came said "Nah, they're just dating". They know for a fact none of this crap will last.

He's been 28 for around 11 years now. Time passes except it that doesn't anymore.

Why are they so obsessed with cucking Peter?

Isn't this a fix-it for Peter cheating on her with Black Cat

It's awful. You'd want to apply something like "1 year in the real world is 3/4/5 in comic book land", but that isn't the plan.

I think they should have just stuck to 10, 13 is too much.

Really? If anything that feels too short for most people.

They went through all that trouble to make Peter Parker feel young again only to make him an old loser anyway after just a few years, it's incoherent.

You're 10-11 starting middle school

In what fucking shithole? That's like 5th grade. You're like 12 or 13 depending on if it's 6th or 7th grade it starts in. So 15 years lines up with Peter being eternally late 20s.

I don't remember this Shay bitch and don't know why I should care.

Again, I'm convinced these are all edicts Lowe has. It's and the manchild loser shit are so consistent across writers, including ones who are otherwise good ones, that there is no way in hell they're all coming to the exact same conclusions and writing the exact same stupid stories in the exact same stupid ways. The only constant has been Lowe who came in during Slott's run and the writing of Peter we see aligns with how Slott wrote him. That has always been my contention: because of when he came in Lowe expects everything to be written like Slott and so forces that Slottian version of Peter onto everyone.

no reference to Mj being Venom then?

6th grade. I had just barely turned 14 when I got to high school/9th grade. So I worked backwards from that.

Lowe edited Spencer. He just lets them have at it but yes of course he selects writers if they fit his own personal tastes.

Speaking of which, there's been like an unusually growing number of articles and stuff basically calling him out lately. Like it's one thing if it's just the fans going after him but it's feeling like Brevoort somehow pissed off someone or someones outside of the fanbase.

I guess my concern really IS that they're going to want to keep Paul around. As said:

Paul isn't going anywhere, he's the perfect excuse to keep Peter's love life with MJ in shambles.

It's a combination of this and Marvel seemingly being all aboard when it comes to thinking outrage/discussion = sales. Actually dropping a bomb like "Peter, I've actually been with Paul longer than you" would be the kind of thing that stirs everyone into a frenzy.

Again not defending this or what I hope to happen, just the situation I think Lowe seems to want to pivot to. I've got no doubts that ultimately there's plenty of writers/editorial staff who actually are getting some kicks out of how mad the character makes people.

I think Peter should become a stripper.

Paul is getting dumped in ANV soon, then Spideyfans pivot to hating on the symbiote & Ewing instead of Paul & Wells for keeping MJ away from him.

I THINK SPIDER-MAN AFTER THE 80s SUCKS

Well, I guess it's a 50/50 shot they dust off Charlie Weiderdman

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE OEDIPAL FUCK

Who cares about her in the first place? Just let him have a fun thing with Felicia for a while. or fuck it. Just let him be single. He doesn't NEED to have a love interest.

Lowe edited Spencer.

And it's been confirmed that Spencer had to fight with him on what he could do, then had his final issue rewritten by Gage which retconned the entire previous issue.

I think it's still fine up until Lifetheft although Michelinie's run is obviously way weaker than DeFalco and Stern.

I read Carlos Gomez's implication of that on Instagram or whatever, but do they break them up and keep him around? Does whatever they're doing in ANV end, and Lowe forces them back together so Pete can't be with her?

Keep in mind that while one day I hope Pete and MJ get back together, restore the marriage, and all that, I'm not one of those people who HAS to have MJ run back to Peter as soon as she dumps Paul. I don't mind if she's off doing whatever and isn't in any books at all. I just don't want to deal with the Paul/Peter misery porn anymore.

I think it's still fine up until Lifetheft although Michelinie's run is obviously way weaker than DeFalco and Stern.

I miss when the worst we had to deal with was Peter's parents being spies and or robots.

A not insignificant portion of the problem would go away if t hey didn't feel like they had to keep MJ around in the first place. But Marvel has been teasing their getting back together almost since as long as they've been a part. I love MJ. I really do. But she's not a character who needs to exist outside of her connection to Peter. She's a supporting character. A good supporting character but if they just wrote her out of the story for a decade or so instead of dangling in front of the reader so long we might not be quite so pissed off. I mean the comic would probably still be shit but it would be one less thing to complain about. I don't know why writers these days think every character supporting or otherwise needs to be some stand alone break out. Spider-man can work when not connected to MJ but MJ cannot work disconnected from Peter.

Didn't the first Brand New Day start with something like that? I remember an interviewer pointing out that all Peter's photos are of atrocious quality and look like he just stuck an automatic camera on a building while he was doing something else.

I remember thinking it was a good joke, at the time. I didn't realize they'd be humiliating him forever.

Yeah, I agree with you. They should give her the Liz Allan or Betty Brant treatment where she shows up maybe once every couple of (real-time) years until someone has a good idea of what to do with her, or they can really commit.

The unfortunate thing is that she IS really popular, so variant covers and such are always going to keep showing her. I don't know, maybe fans could be held off with her in Ultimate and just not showing up in ASM?

who the fuck is Shay

Peters current Girl-friend
She's a nurse at Ravenloft that's it

Marvel has to resort to a BND writer from 20 years ago

Marvel has to drag JRJ from his grave to do a BI-MONTHLY book with another artist helping him

Spider-Man should be written and drawn by the freshest new talent in the industry. We know that Zdarsky turned this job down, is it true that literally nobody at Marvel wants to work on ASM?

I started 7th grade at 11 years old.
I graduated senior year of high school at 17.

is it true that literally nobody at Marvel wants to work on ASM?

I can see why they wouldn't. Honestly it would have been a dream for me to write Spider-man but having to deal with all the bullshit marvel wants now? no. I wouldn't do it. Look what happened to Spencer. All those good intentions wasted as soon as editorial got wind that he might be working on making a not shit comic.

Zdarsky already did a Spider-Man book a few years ago. ASM has to ship twice a month with different artists with different lead times which sometimes means writing issues out of order, that isn't for everyone.

I graduated HS at 17 also but a good amount of my friends were 18 around the start of freshman year. But middle school for me started in 6th grade.

This art is fucking AWFUL.

ASM has had a lot worse these past few years.

Was about to say that at least he knows Danny

Remembered that Danny is dead or a zombie or whatever

Isn’t that owned by iron fist?

What's the legacy numbering on this?

We're fast approaching Amazing 1000. I wonder how they'll manage to fuck up that mile stone.

Once Gwen is revived for good after the Gwenpool mini will she go back to asm?

But the best Spider-Man run of all time was in the 90s

They'll do some new faggy marriage fakeout, or they'll bring back every single BND writer to do some shitty story.
If we're lucky they'll dust off JMD or JMS to do a story

What was the last good milestone, issue 500?

Which one?

Wow, Marvel actually blinked. I guess Editorial is full of hot air and are alone in their moronic opinions. Doesn't mean I am buying comics again.

Forgot picrel.

That wasn't good. It was better than most things nowadays, but I'm tired of people recommending it. Only good part is when he talks with Ben

JMD's Spectacular Spider-Man

They'll do some new faggy marriage fakeout,

They would too.

Yeah pretty much. 600 was fairly inoffensive from what I remember, even if it is mired by being stuck in BND. 700 through 900 are all terrible

Wrong comic anon, but I hope that this means something

Wow, Marvel actually blinked

Is there some broader context I'm missing here? Like that other Anon said, this kinda feels like OMD, but I don't know why they'd do it again.

is it true that literally nobody at Marvel wants to work on ASM?

I believe it. It reminds me of the rumors of how they tried to get people to work on X-Men From The Ashes but a lot of them declined the offer.

What people don't get about OMD/BND is that it's not just how the marriage was erased that was a problem, it's that the kind of thinking that was ok with "we need to get rid of the marriage by having Peter and Mary Jane make a deal with Mephisto" permeated through the rest of Marvel. Think of how lackluster much of the mainline has been since. They rely on shocking/upsetting the reader but in a shallow way, because they also believe nothing matters.

Comic shops have been voicing issues with Marvel the past few years and Brevoort is out there telling people to stop reading their comics. I mean, it's good advice, but somehow I don't think the retailers or Disney would see it that way.

The problem with Shay is that she's a complete nothing character and is clearly a character Lowe wants around. Actually given her kind of MJ Lite personality and mystery meat appearance I'm guessing she's supposed to be a Zendaya stand-in which would explain why she's so forced.

I also think a problem with the MJ, besides the teasing in the books and outright screaming at the fans that they're wrong, is that Peter's post-OMD love interests are ones he's largely had zero chemistry with because they exist to be generic girlfriends or in the case of Mockingbird emasculate him. I'd bet if the Cytorrak chick from 8 Deaths was given a human form and put with Peter people probably wouldn't mind it since the two actually had something resembling chemistry and there's an actual (and fairly classic Marvel/Lee) story to be told of this former God-Woman learning to experience and appreciate humanity through her relationship with one of its most selfless and heroic representatives. Nobody cares about Shay because she's just Some Chick. Same way nobody cares about Carlie or the one (two?) Chinese scientist(s) Peter fucked.

JMD

YES PLEASE, OH GOD WHY CAN'T WE HAVE GOOD THINGS?
They'll use Bendis, Slott, Wells, Kelly, and Kevin Smith. It will be awful

Here

Actually given her kind of MJ Lite personality and mystery meat appearance I'm guessing she's supposed to be a Zendaya stand-in which would explain why she's so forced.

It would also explain them making Peter look more like Holland. Like a forced synergy that's not really working

That's what I mean. We'll get a singular short story from a classic writer, the rest will be from modern hacks