Marvel officially announces Mary Jane is Venom in ‘All-New Venom’ #5

albeit with a little misdirection thrown in

Can straight lying really be labeled as misdirection?

Goddamn she's stacked

They never lied. Well, they did in this press release they said people thought it was Paul when everybody in the storytimes called MJ right from #1.

What happened to her left arm

It's either further in the goo or it got blown off via three-skulls roll just before bonding.

Credit where it’s due anon. You’re correct that we almost immediately figured out it was going to be MJ, but a lot of anons visited Venom storytimes just to see suspects get crossed off the list. Especially when Venom Paul seemed like a real possibility.

"If you've enjoyed this lighter take on Venom, there's a lot more on the way— as well as some darker directions to come."

Maybe that means "WE FRIDGE PAUL" please thanks.

I knew it would be her the moment venom began to speak and act like peter
AND ONLY MARY JANE BEHAVES LIKE THAT WHEN SHE GETS SPIDER POWERS

I've called it MJ from day 1. Then the dread 'it could be paul' kicked in at the fake Dylan vs Paul drama kicked in.

Loeb's Red Hulk run is praised for it.

>Face it, Tiger – You didn’t see this one coming!

we all did. IT SHOULD'VE BEEN DEMODOKIFIED GEORGE TARLETON

Not really, the solicit out right says

It could be the Journalist... the Terrorist... the Sidekick... or even the Mayor... We're giving you all the clues, good believers — but you won't know until the mask comes off!

And MJ was introduced as the Sidekick in Issue #1
The clue is in front of you the whole time

She said the thing again

I’m torn. On one hand, Paul should be taken down in ASM. On the other hand, I understand that’s an impossibility under the current regime.

I hate but I acknowledge that it’s not as as bad as Jackpot was, it shits on Paul, and Paul becoming Venom would’ve been awful.

I want to be more excited for this than I am, but at this point I’ll just enjoy whatever AU the VenoMJ posts are from.

Ewing's statement

If this is really the case then fuck Marvel until the end of the time because I suspect after Spider-Man 2 and Reign 2 this is some sort of mandate fuckery and if that isn't the case then Ewing is on some non-binary bullshit. If any She-VenoMJ anons pose any question regarding this to Carlos Gomez who somehow is able to get away with criticzing Marvel on other platforms like Discord and Instagram, and he answers then I'd greatly appreciate this effor tbeing made. I cannot believe Gomez would let this stand for too long. At least this is some sort of unwilling bonding so in the future if somebody like me writes it, I can say my instance of MJ with Venom is the first real time they bonded. Let me huff some copium at least.

It's better than Jackpot but I am not excited.

PETER GETS VENOMJ PREGNANT AND CONCEIVES *APRIL* PARKER!

VenoMJ gets Felicia pregnant and conceives June Parker!

If you’ve enjoyed this lighter take on Venom, there’s a lot more on the way

Say, how about erasing the past 15 or so years of Venom lore?

So what does this mean for Dylan?

Why is Marvel so determined to make Mary Jane a super-hero? Surely if she has super powers there's no reason her and Peter can't be together.

stop giving mj super powers it's fucking retarded

Ah but April is canon and is a clone of Mayday spliced with a Symbiote!

He is the luckiest teenager in marvel history for having 1 hot stacy blonde mom and 2 hot adoptive redhead stepmoms with Natasha and now Mary Jane.

Paul has become exactly the sort of character Joe Quesada accused pre-OMD MJ of being, just get rid of him and let Spider-Man and MJ be a superhero couple!

Paul Rabin is constantly trying to molest the poor kid though…

Everyone called it being MJ from the very beginning except for the faggot shitposters saying it was Paul. There was zero fucking mystery because it was so blatantly telegraphed.

The retards at reddit and cbr were cocksucking wells and lowe to not admit it was her.

The Paulposters are really angry right now…

always had a feeling that it wasn't going to be anyone they teased anyway

Imagine Venom with big black and gold tiddies

if she doesn't start looking like she-venom soon I'm going to be thoroughly disappointed

Once she and venom finally are ok with each other it will be, but it will be Reign 2 Venomjane with red hair like Venomous Natasha
Which by the way that comic was full of cake

Marvel is bad at handling spoilers coming out early

Well hopefully the Carolfag will either fuck off or actually talk about the subject fat chance. Regardless this is dumb but the least dumb of the choices, still wish they'd just let MJ be normal and retired

sexo mj

The Carolfags have been chill, it’s the Polish schizo Paulfag that’s been really obnoxious.

Carolfags are scared shitless that feet fungus is losing her spot in marvel back to Mar-Vell himself once IMPERIUM hits.
Disney admitted that Carol ruined their IP

But anon... the OP is a Carolfag
I was one of the first to call it in the #1 storytime even.

it’s the Polish schizo Paulfag that’s been really obnoxious

It's a Spiderman adjacent subject so the freak and his counter schizo are a given. I just find the Carolfags annoying because they refuse to actually participate in anything, they're always fucking like that just constantly going on and on about that character

I can’t help but feel Ewing’s thing has been to treat Paul with exactly the same contempt lesser writers give to Peter Parker. And Paulbros can’t fucking handle it.

the Jackpot

Does she mean her pussy or rectum?

There’s probably more than one counter-schizo because I’ve been fucking with him. I honestly think it’s been effective over letting him running wild like a tantruming manchild. The Polish guy is exhibiting Extinction Burst Behavior.

based ewing

Mar-Vell coming back

Based. Where is the source?

This makes sense, MJ is Venom, Paul is Spider-man and that way Marvel can have VenomXSpidey be official and not weird. Hope that faggot Peter gets his powers stolen by Paul or something, or maybe Paul gets bitten by a gigachad radioactive spider that makes him like Peter but better.

MJ's Futa cocky when?

Shoo

No.

kill yourself

No.

Hope that faggot Peter gets his powers stolen by Paul

Peter stole them from Paul in the first place, Paul is just reclaiming what is rightfully his.

Paul would have saved Gwen. He would have succeeded every time Peter failed, and Parker luck is the universe punishing Peter for stealing Paul's destiny.

Dylan was a really shit detective. Was it that Robbie was actually that role and Dylan was a misdirection as well?

Can anybody explain this melty?
I'm sure in its mind it thinks it's being le epic troll or something, but it looks like a schizo having a mental breakdown.

Which one, the Paullock or the Anticarol?

I haven't been keeping track of Venom cause I dropped it during the vampire shit, but why isn't Dylan Brock Venom? Did they kill him off? Also, is Eddie still the King in Black or is that all gone?

Still seems silly given we had like five symbiotes running around in New York not too long ago. On that note, did the other symbiotes get genocided by Carnage?

The paulschizo.

Disney has never deceived us in these 10 years with Marvel, always at the right time they destroyed the feminine strength immortalized by the classic Marvel, after destroying Leia, Jessica Rabbit, Disney princesses, Tinkerbell, they have now destroyed, just like Sony in the games, the girl next door immortalized by all teenagers, Mary Jane. Disney is beyond any salvation

what melty?

Mary Jane's been ruined for close to 20 years now.

I'm just doing this because it pisses people off, which is hilarious to me.

I'm spamming the same unfunny shit every day because it makes strangers on the internet groan a little and go "man, what a retard".

A sure sign of mental health.

Look, making you angry is easier than making you happy, so can you really blame me for going down Easy Street?

Nobody is angry at you, the only emotion you get out of people is bewilderment that anybody could be idiotic enough to waste their life on something so retarded.

spoken like a true spider-fag

Are you a fucking retard?
Mary Jane as Venom is literally a trannie dream, a woman's body that becomes male with Venom

Aaaaand it quickly resorted to coping when faced with uncomfortable truth.
Pretty pathetic ngl.

Literally everyone saw this coming tho

Eh, the voting on that site had her only in third place after Luke and Rick. Marketing hyperbole can at least be justified here.

Shitposts in my head from people who leaks in certain places.
Jed wanted to use her, but change of plans.

Wrong
Mary Jane is literally downplaying her favorite movie with Amanda Bynes where she dresses as a Man because her brother sucks at divegrass and he took her place because she is the ultimate tomboy.
And possibly Lord Dominator

Didn't Venom only look like that because Eddie was muscular? Why would she look like that?

won't even reply to me properly

Oh yeah, you're mad.

it literally begs for (You)s now

No dignity whatsoever, lmao.

Not giving me (you)s won't make Paul go away. He's here to stay, and there's nothing you can do about it.

It doesn’t really. People just accept you’re going to be here and annoy you over stuff like the time confessed to raping kids or the fact that you machine translate all your posts because you know no English. It’s fun to make you flip out.

I'm not that guy, I just jumped on the bandwagon because I thought it'd be fun. And hey, people on Anon Babble WANT to be pissed off, so why are you shitting on Paulposters for giving you what you want?

Damn. So is he really going to rape the respect into Dylan Brock then?

Also you’re not the Polish fag, your posts aren’t MTL or deranged enough and you don’t sperg out about child rape. I mean if you are, thanks for breaking character but you’re pretty on the lower end of average and not nearly the worst guy here.

Care to repeat that without tears in your eyes?

Please don’t bandwagon with the Polish dude. He won’t be grateful, he’ll drown you out and hog all the attention, and he’ll never actually be funny. He just starts posting rape threats because unlike cool and chill dudes like you and me he really is a thin-skinned little bigger who thought that bragging about being a child rapist was his masterstroke when it ended up being the only thing he showed even the slightest shame and remorse over. There are funnier and better trolls. He’s just the most genuinely autistic, spam-happy, and hopelessly brain damaged.

And all that would be okay if he could actually be funny, or understand what being funny actually entails, instead of behaving like a serial killer.

She already has slutmachine powers! To take on a literal mantle of her previous lover, doesn't that make her subordinate to Peter? Feministcuntsister rise the f*ck *p!

Some anons just want to watch the board burn.

tracers should get the rope. how can they legally sell this trash as if an artist drew something when its all traced 3d models and garbage.

when your shit is completely ignorable or a minor nuisance at worst barring an occasional bored anon who wants to fuck with the schizo

but you think you're making anything "burn"

Just lmao.

But isn’t even in a funny way! He’s so boring. There are funnier trolls. There are cleverer trolls. He just frowns them out with spam, autism, MTL gibberish, and developmental delay.

I’m 100% convinced that he rapes children, he certainly acts like it. You’ve got better things to do than be his personal Salacious B Crumb, the bigger won’t even be grateful he’ll just repeat the same posts on a loop. There are funnier chatbots than the Polish child molester.

Thing is, the Polack is a dollar store scatschizo from Anon Babble, but too much of a pussy (and being too poor for proxies) to post scat (granted you could make an argument that modern Amazing Spider-Man is on that level) and gore. They're both spamming threads out of similar mentally ill spite.
So imagine being a somehow shittier version of Anon Babble's biggest joke of a schizo.

Listen, I don't actually give two tugs of a dead Uncle Ben's cock about the Polack. I'm just very, very bored, it's funny to poke the monkeys with a stick and make them screech, and the monkeys really hate Paul, so here we are. Honestly, I'd be doing this with or without that guy's presence. And, again, pissing people on Anon Babble off is a lot easier than making them happy, but so is accomplishing nuclear fusion with stuff you've got lying around your garage, or eating the sun, or finding the Holy Grail.

It’s just so low effort to anger the schizo and the best way to do it is to treat him the way he treats other people. He’s just so thin-skinned. There isn’t any irony involved, this is genuinely someone underage or just such a brain damaged sperg that he qualifies. Yeah, he posts like a serial killer. Much like posts by actual serial killers, it’s about as incomprehensible and and as in funny to read. The only entertainment I get is from treating him like my lolcow, because the jannies won’t do anything about him and won’t do anything about me when I poke him with a stick.

Heidi Gardner is fucking celebrities every week on SNL while Zeb Wells is making a garbage Marvel Zombies show and aging like shit. He's balding rapidly by the second and his fertility rate is already lower than 0.01%, which is still higher than Tom Baldvoort.

But that’s the other thing! The schizo is a weirder, more deranged, and funnier cow! And people get pissed off when people poke him and get sperged out. You could have a two for one special with him: annoy him, and annoy everyone else as he details another thread with a screeching freakout.

Being as gay as him only makes you as gay as him, I don’t see any reason to treat you differently if that’s the case. The speds that go “well I’m NOT him I just ACT like him” just have me going “okay I’ll still treat you like him, whatever.”

I don't know his reasons for doing this shit, but my reason can be boiled down to "I'm bored and it'll briefly amuse me", and isn't that the best reason to do anything?

I'm laughing

look at me, I'm laughing

Doesn't sound like it's US you're trying to convince, kek.

Marvel hates Mary Jane

Marvel refuses to allow Peter Parker to get back with her

Marvel will still use her for financial gain because fuck you

Well, you're still replying, so you've clearly got something to prove too. What is it?

Paul RABIN

Is pic related going to be his arch nemesis?

n-no u

I mean, not every day I could find a no-life loser so pathetic, lmao.
Keep up that act, though. You're doing a good job cementing yourself as a thread clown, kek.

I ain't readin' that shit.
Cope more, weirdos in editorial.

making you angry is easier than making you happy

It's not. It takes more effort to shitpost than it does not to, and not shitposting makes people happier. If you're going to be a retard for your own amusement, at least own up to it.

MJ is gaslighting him.

She better set up a baby gate around the house as well.

This make me want to just kill myself how much shit they are doing, Eddie Brock and Flash Tompson should be the main venoms and maybe Dilan Brock but MJ as venom is straight up bullshit, venom litterally scared her to death at his first appearance. The run better split up MJ and Paul or I am crashing out because this is complete bullshit

Would you have sex with a woman who has a symbiote/co/?

Fuck off

They don't hate Mary Jane, they hate Peter being happy with Mary Jane.

Go fuck yourself

Fuck you

Sure, but I'm not the person to be asking about would.

Sure, go ahead and imitate him. But sweetie, you’ll get bored of this long before the Polish guy does, and at very least don’t get offended if I try to milk you like some of these other faggots when they go “er er I’m not a pedophile er er I just act just like the pedophile how dare you er er.” If you act like *my* lol cow, then moo and give me some milk too. I promise you’ll piss off the schizo with that, and you’ll get bored of it far sooner than he or I do because there’s so many times you can read him saying “I am friends with Dan Buckley and he’s actually gonna make Gwen a mutant hurr hurr hurr” for the thousandth time before you at least start getting curious about what else you can make the pedophile say.

Calm down Gwenschizo. He’s on Team Paul right now and he also wants Paul to become Venom and rape some respect into him.

So how powerful is MJ gonna be as Venom? Above Spidey level as usually or maybe a hulk/thor equal?

So a women with symbiote not allowed to look like women anymore? What happened to shit like She-Venom?

I wanted MJ with a symbiote... but not like this... where's the cheesecake... the yandere...

That was the 90s. Woman-looking ones get spin-off symbiotes in the 21st century.

Like Conquest, I too am a gigachad and choose to take the good with the bad. No Paul Venom, no Jackpot, more time centering MJ while making Paul more meaningless and with less stuff in the story, more time with Paul getting shit on by literally everyone else in the book, and inevitable interactions with Peter and VenoMJ.

I don’t love it, but I like it because it makes Gwenschizo angry and that’s really the only reason half the people are in these threads anymore apparently, kek.

Carolfag is going haywire on the shitpost thread

Well this sucks but it doesn't suck as much as it could so I like it

Brilliant thinking.

Most women wearing the symbiote in mainline stories have looked like the classic buff monster as Venom.
That's Gwenschizo, you can tell by him calling MJ a whore. Carolfags like MJ and VenoMJ.

You just want to induct Mary Jane into Carol's massive "definitely not dykes" collection of women.

They hate Peter being happy. Comics are all about the status quo. That's why Gotham will always be a shithole, Mutants will always be victims, and Peter Parker will always be miserable.

Peter didn't used to be miserable. His status quo was living between extremes and doing his best.

It's all we can do! I'm still not buying this garbage and only picking up shit I actually like such as Ultimate!

maybe Paul gets bitten by a gigachad radioactive spider that makes him like Peter but better.

Paul gets bitten by a radioactive Silk.

That’s sadly one of the only good Spider-Man comic

Anon, Joe and his chucklefucks in editorial were trying to ruin MJ long before the Disney buyout happened.
In fact Disney is incredibly hands off with Marvel's comics. All they care about is that the comics keep coming in hopes that something will stick enough for them to turn it into a movie.

So when do MJ use her 19 inches of Venom to start pegging Peter?

Too late for that.
Be careful, Ewing will hear you and we'll get Paul-Scream.

Kek, I think Gwenschizo ate another ban.

He'll be back tomorrow though.

Paul-Scream is a terrible waste of Scream.

What if he turns into a woman in his Scream form?

No.

Yes I can. Stop pissing in the pool you piss drinkin' weirdo.

Paul becomes a symbiote woman

MJ buries her gold plated symbiote cock in his Screambussy

Mpregs him

Paul can finally have those kids he wanted

This

You have a serious problem

Whuh? She's HELPING people? Without getting permission from me? Using powers I don't control? B-b-but I'm supposed to be her guy in the chair! I was supposed to live vicariously through her accomplishments while she took all the risk. She was my REWARD! My Jackpot for all the genocides I committed! All the children I molested!

Th-this FUCKING WHORE. This TREACHEROUS BITCH. This sort of disrespect would NEVER have been allowed in my home country of Poland! No! My kids are dead, now all I have left is sitting around, whining, and being ineffectual while Eddie Brock's SHITTY SON uses me as his personal gimp, and slut!

I approve of this Paul personification

Im posting here, it's to be expected.

No. Choke on it. If you want something to complain about, and you're on Anon Babble, so you do, then I'll fuckin' GIVE you something to complain about.

Paul is so lucky he gets to fuck MJ and get fucked by Venom hyper cock

soon

Ftm is definitely a rarer brand of tg, someone at Mahvel is enjoying this for sure.

th-th-thanks honey, I’m only vomiting a little bit of your cum and my blood. I just… I can’t feel my legs. MJ… I can’t feel my legs. Do I need a wheelchair? I’m already shitting in a diaper…

Only Peter has the strength ehehehe

writer/artist female muscle fetish

I think super powered MJ sucks!

Same

Yes, but at least she's thrown Paul's shitty little Jackpot watch in the trash. Three Skulls was Zeb's retarded plot point and I'm glad Ewing just said 'you know, fuck it, it's retarded and nobody cares.'

always had

Superpower accelerationism has been the plan all along. By 2040 "normal" humans won't exist anymore.

That's just putting out a fire by spraying it down with shit.

As long as it's still Ewing writing hopefully

At least people like him exist

Yes. But at least the fire is out. That's more than just letting the flaming back of dog poop that was Zeb's run keep burning.

So it wasn't the STUPIDEST idea ever, because the stupidest idea was to make Paul into Venom. So still a huge improvement from Zeb's run, even though it's still pretty shit!

Mj gonna become a lesbo and cheat paul with a butch dyke and will make her pregnant then some years late a new symbiote human hibrid will arise and it will say Mj is the father

Marvel needs to give Paul sentry level powers so he can get fucked by MJ properly

Slap a name like Calico on the child and have "grow up in the future" like Cable and return as a vague late 20s-30s adult.

I fear that spider office might pull something like this...

With Nick Lowe, they just might

Has there EVER been a more universally reviled character than Paul?

Peter got juggy powers just to have all 19 inches inside of him

I don’t think so

Since Paul didn't got Venom what marvel should give him to make him more powerful than spiderman?
a better radioative spider? Captain Universe? Phoenix?

They should make him abusive and kill him off

They should LET HIM RAPE SOME RESPECT INTO DYLAN BROCK

I'm of the opinion Paul's dark secret is that he too made a deal with Mephisto, only his wish was companionship after being so lonely in his doomed dimension/timeline. Mephisto continues to fuck over Peter, Mephisto fucks over Wayeb (Whom he's canonically met), it's win win

they should just replace peter with him and have him being the only spider man on 616 since Miles fucked off to Ultimateverse

Just kill off 616 Spider-Man in general and go all in on Ultimate. It's not like sales will go down if 616 is shitcanned, Ultimate is still outselling it.

Since Paul didn't got Venom what marvel should give him to make him more powerful than spiderman?

He gets bitten by a radioactive Gwenpool and becomes Gwenpaul.

Gaaaay

That's so stupid they may actually do it.

He should kill off 616 Gwen Stacy in the upcoming mini, thus cementing his place as the one true Gwenpaul :^)

I'm done with this dude. People keep trying to come up with different "this guy is totally tied to this big background thing/event" things for him.

Paul is like an old fart in a car. He wasn't welcome when he arrived, and he has lingered far too long

It's called trying to salvage a shitshow

it's fucking hilarious they INMEDIATELY wanted to shill miles in the ultimateverse once it was proven it's consistently outselling ASM
these fags have no self-awareness and will probably repeat the same dogshit that's infesting the main comics

He's gonna get FRIDGED

The Symbiote should try to get MJ back with Peter.
Seems like there'd be no downsides with it since it loved peter and we'd get Peter and MJ back.
Basically be a 3 some

Then he would be written as a martyr in-universe. Better to have him disappear for something bad he does than to give Mary Jane trauma to motivate her.

We already know that the Symbiote hates Paul and prefers Peter.

He's gonna get FRIDGED

Then he would be written as a martyr in-universe.

He's going to be MJ's Uncle Ben. He's going to be remembered forever ad be a part of her story permanently going forward. She does everything in the memory of Paul. Including never fucking Peter again because she will forever be mourning Paul. This takes MJ permanently off the table and cements Paul as the only other dead guy in Marvel besides Uncle Ben.

Earth-X is canon then

If it the original intent wasn't, the popularity of ideas from that means it will resemble that over time.

Well, its better than the last mystery host I guess
Still a massive waste of time with no interesting outcome

Keep dreaming a dream that will never come true.

Paul WILL molest Dylan Brock of that you can be sure.

I'm enjoying it. This is exactly what a shitty character like Paul deserves.

Nice.

Venom is spitting straight facts here

So its inevitable we're going to get VenoMJ vs Dark Gwenpool.

But where does Spider-Gwen fit into all this now that she's in 616?
I guess she stays close to Miles.

the problem is writers have no idea what to do with a supporting cast beyond the girlfriend being used as the damsel in distress or constant nagging reminder of the real world they live in

Spider-Gwen merges with a dying Gwenpool after VenoMJ’s subconscious fear that Peter loves Gwen more causes her to fatally wound her. After the next universal reset, this will be amended to Spider-Gwenpool always being 616’s Gwen, who took up the mantle after her father died.

Just go the other way and have the love interest do emotional support things.